Please give me some advice on how I can keep the love and compassion in my heart for peers who keep repeating offenses over and over, with some of the behaviors getting worse over time.

This is one of the more difficult aspects of forgiveness.  Some people ask me if it is acceptable to just forget about forgiveness altogether under these circumstances.  I think it is all the more imperative to keep on persevering in forgiving both for the relationship (if you think it is a good idea to keep it) and for your own well-being.  With that said, I recommend that you keep working on the knowledge that the peers possess inherent (built-in) worth regardless of their behavior.  This kind of thought is not meant to excuse the behavior but instead to understand the truth that all people are special, unique, and irreplaceable.  Struggling to keep this idea in front of you is a first step in keeping the love and compassion in your heart.

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Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness

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