You have stated that forgiveness is something we give to the one who has hurt us. What if I want to forgive to feel better? What if the idea of giving something good to my offender is repulsive to me? What if I never want to see this person again?

There is a difference between what forgiving is and our motivations for engaging in forgiveness. It is not dishonorable to want to forgive to feel better. At the same time, this motivation does not change what forgiving is in it’s essence, which is a moral virtue of being good to those who are not good to us. In addition, as Aristotle reminds us, it takes time to grow in any of the moral virtues. If you are willing to “do no harm” to the one who hurt you, even if you are not ready to be respectful or loving toward that person, you are on the pathway of forgiving.

Learn more at Forgiving is not. . .

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