I started the forgiveness process, but I am stuck on the idea that I might be able to have some compassion for the one who injured me. This is not possible. So, am I flunking the forgiveness test?
You definitely are not “flunking the forgiveness test” if you are unable to feel compassion toward the other. Please keep in mind the following points: First, forgiveness takes time and so please be gentle with yourself. Second, we are not necessarily in control of our emotions, especially one as delicate as compassion, or a tender suffering along with the other. Third, please resist trying to force compassion. It likely will come only with time and the continual practice of forgiving. This could be many months. Fourth and finally, you do not have to forgive in its complete sense to have forgiven the person. Even if you can see his or her mistakes, pain, and confusion, this may be sufficient for your forgiving, at least for now.
For additional information, see Forgiveness Defined.
