When I examine the effects of the injustice that happened to me, I get angry at myself for not realizing the connection all these years between what happened to me back then and my built-up anger and fatigue now.  Should I forgive myself for missing all of this?

We forgive ourselves when we do moral wrong, when we break our own standards.  It seems to me that you were not acting unjustly at all.  You simply did not know the connection between the past hurts against you and your challenges at present.  This is the case for very many people because forgiveness, current effects, and past trauma rarely are discussed in contemporary society.  I recommend that you practice gentleness toward yourself rather than forgive yourself.

After all, would you forgive yourself for not knowing other issues that are hidden from most people in society?  In the 1940’s for example, people did not have the precise knowledge of the connection between cigarette smoking and certain health problems.  Those people who were smoking back then were not saying to themselves, “The science shows that I am harming myself in very specific ways.  I will continue to smoke anyway.”  This would not have been the case for a very large part of the population.

It is similar now with the links among past trauma, current effects such as anger and fatigue, and forgiveness.  Not knowing is not necessarily an injustice and so I think you can go in peace……and start the forgiveness process now if you are ready.  In some cases, we deny reality and choose to not know what is good.  This issue is different from yours and this example would suggest that self-forgiveness would be appropriate as a person keeps pushing away what should be known as morally good.

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