International Forgiveness Institute https://validator.w3.org/feed/docs/rss2.html He Said, “Forgiveness Is Passive.” Oh, Really? Self-Forgiveness Research Is on the Rise A Podcast and Book on Revenge and Forgiveness Our Forgiveness Blog Home I have to forgive two people. One is at my place of employment, and the other is a family member. My anger and discontent are rather high toward the person at work. My negative emotions are far less toward the family member.  Who should come first in my forgiveness process? Dr. Enright’s Essays on Forgiveness are ‘Essential Reads’! When the news agencies state that a given state in the United States is forgiving student debt, are they truly using the term “forgiveness” correctly? I have an insight, and I wonder what you think about it. We have a family member who is quite alienated from the rest of our family. This is the case because he is rather rude and hurtful to others. I am wondering whether he needs to forgive himself first, because my conjecture is that he doesn’t like himself. If he forgives himself first, do you think he might stop the rudeness? Can I forgive situations, such as an unexpected flat tire?  I ask because I kind of got mad at the tire. What is the difference between what some people call “emotional forgiveness” and “decisional forgiveness”? How do I heal from my emotional wounds caused by my mother? Can you provide me with one example of a person forgiving another for “unforgivable” acts or severe trauma? How do I go about forgiving someone who refuses to apologize?  It is so difficult. Thank you for your answer to my question about my sister who wants me to forgive her even though  I was not offended.  When I explained that she did nothing wrong, she asked me this: “Should I forgive myself for what I did?”  What do you think? My sister has asked me several times to forgive her for something I do not think is wrong.  I am not upset, and I see no need to forgive.  Yet, she keeps asking.  What should I do? I kind of like the idea of forgiveness, but I am a bit ambivalent about it.  Can you provide some written material for me so that I can make a more informed decision? I heard that you did a study of forgiveness for people in hospice, but I cannot locate the reference.  Would you please provide that for me?  Thank you in advance. A Promise Kept If I no longer feel rage at the one who hurt me, does this mean I have forgiven? If I engage in the Process Model of forgiveness, is it okay to go back to an earlier unit if I think I need more work on it?  For example, I began to have compassion on the one who hurt me, and so I went on to “standing in the pain.” After a while, my compassion began to wane.  I think I should go back to that before moving ahead. What do you think? Can people actually forgive themselves?  It is as if they are their own judge and jury. Contact Us Should I forgive myself when falsely accused?  My partner got really upset when the clothes dryer stopped working, and he needed a shirt that was in there.  Of course, I am not responsible for a machine’s mechanical failure, but I received some intense emotion from him.  Under such a circumstance, should I engage in self-forgiveness? What is one cognitive skill you want to see in primary school children who are beginning to learn about forgiveness? How Forgiving Am I? IFI Audio Visual Resources I want to introduce forgiveness education to my school.  What is one reference you would suggest that I share with my principal? I have fibromyalgia. I heard that you have a journal article stating that a forgiveness intervention can help with those symptoms.  Would you please share the reference to that article with me? How do you correct a young child who equates forgiveness with revenge?  Thank you again for clarifying the concept of inherent worth.  Can you suggest a picture book to help children grasp the idea of inherent worth? Forgiveness Education Our Team Forgiveness Research Forgiveness for Individuals: Learning to Forgive Others Benefactors, Investors and Board of Directors What do meta-analyses say about the number of forgiveness sessions? How many tend to lead to success? Convince me that forgiveness is for others rather than the self, the forgiver. When you use the term “the forgiveness triangle,” what does that mean? Peace Builders How open should I be with my children (ages 9 and 11) regarding my father (their grandfather)?  He was abusive, and we are estranged from him.  Do I give my children details about the injustice as I start to walk the path of forgiveness? How should l correct a 6-year-old child who equates forgiveness with revenge? Can you please provide a reference in which you studied young children learning about forgiveness with the use of the concept of inherent worth? Thank you for clarifying the importance of having children learn about inherent worth.  Can this actually be taught with children as young as six or seven years old? In my experience, I find it a lot harder to forgive my family members than those who are not part of my family.  Am I expecting too much from family? You discuss how a child learns forgiveness from their family, friends, and someone of higher authority. What must a child learn specifically as the first step toward understanding forgiveness? I am in a rather caustic group, with lots of criticism leveled against others outside the group. It is beginning to wear on me, and I am thinking of leaving the group. What do you think: would it be better for me to stay and try to help them bring down their level of criticism toward others, or should I leave? During your forgiveness interviews with children and adults, what has surprised you the most? Of the things children are taught about forgiveness, what do you find to be something to avoid?  Once again, thank you for your follow-up answer about self-forgiveness. You did not address one issue in my more recent question:  How can we be our own judge and jury when we self-forgive?