Archive for January, 2012
My first experience with personal healing coming from forgiveness happened in 1994, more than 17 years ago. I was directed into specific forgiveness by my sister, Dr. Annette Cargioli, D.C. She had learned to connect the pathways of emotions, illness and non-forgiveness in a powerful way. So powerful was the release and change in my mind and body that I continue to remember it, and have continued to learn and share these techniques with others.
My problem at the time was binge eating chocolate chip cookies. Annette ‘worked’ on me for about 40 minutes. She identified the conflict in my mind that kept me locked into this self-sabotaging binge-eating. She directed me with forgiveness statements about my true identity, and my self-damaging need to keep myself hurting and sick. She also used magnets placed on areas of my body. I felt emotions well up. I cried and then felt relief and change in my mind. I was not convinced at that moment I would not binge again.
I went home feeling lighter, and I had no need to binge for the next 10 months! This was huge for me. At the next episode of binge eating, I called Annette and she continued to work with me using forgiveness of my self-held beliefs to help me completely heal my cookie binge eating and over the next 4-5 years several other eating disorders I had came to the surface and left me. Now, I have a ‘normal’ relationship with food, and I’m soooo grateful for Annette saving me from my own self-destruction.
Another year, another set of resolutions. While we are on the topic, I have a question for you: “What did you resolve in the new year on January 1, 2011?” A show of hands, please from all of you who even remember what you resolved to do or improve in the 2011 calendar year. Another question: “For those of you who do remember what you resolved on January 1, 2011, did you follow through with the resolution?”
The questions above were asked to test your strong will. By that I mean your inner determination and behavioral manifestation of staying the course, finishing the race. When was the last time you heard a thorough-going discussion of the strong will? We talk in society about free will and good will, but rarely about the strong will that helps us stay the course.
To forgive requires a free will to say yes to the path of mercy and love, a good will to embrace mercy in the face of unfair treatment, and a strong will so that you do not stop persevering in forgiveness. To persevere in forgiveness is one of the most important things you can do for your family, your community, and for yourself. Without the strong will, you could easily be like the rowboat, once tethered to the dock, now loosened from the moorings as it slowly drifts out to sea. As the cares of the world envelope you, the opportunity to cling to the forgiving life may slowly fade until you are unaware that the motivation to keep forgiving is gone.
This New Years Day, my challenge to you is to resolve to have a strong will as a forgiver. This means that you will remember what you resolved; you will follow through with the resolution. You have the opportunity to make a merciful difference in a world that seems not to have a strong enough collective will to keep forgiveness alive in the heart. The choice is yours. The benefits may surprise you.
Christmas, Hanukkah, Christian and Islamic New Years
Merry Christmas, Eight nights of joy, wishing you a year full of goodness
Peace, Shalom, As-Salamu Alaykum
Tis the season for family and joy……and some heartache. November, December and part of January are accompanied by celebrations in which a smile is worn on the face and an ache silently and privately is carried within the heart. For many, wherever there is family there is a mixture of joy and sadness on special occasions.
We are here at the International Forgiveness Institute, and at theinstitution of our first blog post, to let you know that there is a cause for great hope when the heart is aching. Forgiveness, of course, is no cure- all, but it is better in some ways than the heartburn medicine or headache remedies that are downed like water and food during the holiday season. Perhaps this is the year that you will take the following resolution seriously: I pledge to myself and to others on this site that I will take the first step to mend one broken relationship in my family or circle of friends. I will do my part to mend the broken heart of one member of my group.
How do you do that?
First, we recommend that you see your part in that one person’s broken heart. Have you contributed to his or her wounds? If so, make that resolution to go to the other with a warm heart and offer an apology for….well….whatever it is that you said or did. We recommend that you approach this courageous task with deep and gentle humility. After all, this is a holiday season when nerves are a bit more on edge, fatigue comes washing in upon us more readily, and our patience is thinner despite the warm words said and received. Therefore, expect some surprise from the other person. He or she may not be ready to receive your gift of apology. If this is the case, please try to bear their surprise, their ambivalence, their outright ignoring with a gentle strength. Your bearing up under the other person’s lack of readiness is yet another gift you can give this year—-not only to him or her but to others as you do not let your disappointment come rolling out of you to them. Rest in the knowledge that you have done a courageous, loving thing—-to bring peace.
Second, we recommend that you start one small process of forgiving one person in your close circle. Chose a person who has hurt you and choose to give him or her one gift this year—the gift of mercy wrapped up as forgiveness. Try to see him or her in a true context, as a person, someone who is unique, special, and irreplaceable. Someone who, like you, may be wounded inside. Someone who, like you, needs love in the heart. Be a love giver now, even if it is a struggle, even if you are apprehensive. Forgiveness quietly reaches out in this kind of ambivalence because it is strong. The love of forgiveness is stronger than any injustice that anyone has ever given to you. You might find that as you pledge to heal another person, the gift waiting for you is your own emotional healing as well.
It is time to love. It is time to love through forgiveness. Take the first step and let us know how it is going or how it went for you. We are here to listen and to help.
Peace, Shalom, As-Salamu Alaykum