Would you say that a person has a character weakness if he cannot forgive?
Both Aristotle and Thomas Aquinas have told us that it takes time to develop proficiency in any virtue. In other words, we grow into becoming more fair or kind or courageous or forgiving. Thus, we all suffer from a certain “character weakness” because we are in the process of being more and more perfected in forgiving.
What does it mean to become “more perfected”? As we practice forgiveness over and over and as we grow as forgivers, we:
1) understand more deeply what forgiveness is and is not;
2) are more willing to practice it, even when we have deep pain from profound injustices;
3) move through the process more smoothly; and
4) complete the process more thoroughly in that we have less resentment and more compassion at the end of the forgiveness journey toward one person and one event.
As a final point, we all have a more difficult time forgiving certain people for certain injustices and so we should be gentle in our scrutiny of others who struggle to forgive. Someone’s struggle today does not mean that she is morally deficient. Instead, it may mean that she is growing in the virtue and is finding something difficult today in the journey. This does not mean that she will struggle tomorrow with a different person and a different event. We are all growing in our perfection of this virtue.
