Five Questions about Self-Forgiveness
Of all the people in the world, who do we tend to be hardest on when we mess up?
Right, ourselves.
If we self-forgive, is it illegitimate because we are then the judge and the defendant in the case?
Self-forgiveness is not about jurisprudence. It is about goodness. We can offer goodness to ourselves.
If we self-forgive, aren’t we just letting ourselves off the moral hook?
No. When we self-forgive we should go to the ones we have hurt and make amends. We are not letting ourselves off the hook when we try to make things right.
But, self-forgiveness is about forgiving myself for offending myself. Why are we talking about making amends toward other people?
We talk about this because we do not offend ourselves in isolation. If you think about it, if you are very unjust to yourself, others such as partner, family, co-workers, and even the community might be affected, depending on what the offense is.
What should I expect if and when I forgive myself?
Inner peace and the conviction not to do that again.
Robert
