Forgiveness Does Not Require Abandoning…..Resentment……..Is This True?
What is resentment? It is the harboring of persistent ill will.
What is forgiveness? It is mercy on those who have been unfair to us.
There is a contradiction if we have persistent ill will and say that we have forgiven.
There is no contradiction if we are in the process of forgiveness and have resentment, as long as we realize that one of our goals is the abandonment of that resentment.
There is no contradiction if we have some residual anger after we have forgiven, as long as that anger is not harsh toward the offender or toxic within ourselves.
Residual anger is not the same as resentment.
We have to be careful not to equate residual (non-toxic) anger and resentment. Otherwise, we pat ourselves on the back in the name of forgiveness when we are still poisoning ourselves and perhaps others.
We have to be careful not to equate forgiveness and a total absence of any anger whatsoever. Otherwise, we might condemn ourselves and feel guilt because we think we have not forgiven when we have.
A little anger left over is part of the imperfect human condition. Yes, we can continue to forgive, but we need not expect perfection today.
Robert
