Author Archive: doctorbobenright
Without Forgiveness, Bitterness Remains
KHOU.com, Houston, TX. A man whose wife and son were murdered has forgiven the killer–his other son–and is now spreading the word about the power of forgiveness.
Kent Whitaker says he was consumed with anger when he learned that his son Bart had committed the murders nine years ago in order to get the family inheritance. But Whitaker said he’s turned his anger into a message–one he hopes can convince others to forgive, no matter how badly they’ve been hurt.
“If we don’t forgive, then the bitterness that comes from the result of the event stays with us forever,” he said.
Even though Bart has been forgiven by his father, he has not been forgiven by the state. He received a death sentence for the murders and remains on Death Row, but his execution date has not been set. Read the full story and watch a video.
It seems to me that forgiveness is a good thing when someone has been really unfair to me. Yet, anger is a natural part of reacting to injustice. So, to forgive, does a person have to suppress anger? If so, then forgiveness seems like it is psychologically unhealthy.
When people forgive, the goal is to reduce or even eliminate the anger, not to suppress it. When we enter a forgiveness process, we look first at the anger, which is a way of acknowledging that anger, not suppressing it. Thus, when we forgive we acknowledge anger as a first step to reduce or even eliminate it. Forgiveness, then, is a healthy, not an unhealthy response.
TeVin Clark
I loved you with my whole heart. I tried to save you with all my strength. But it isn’t my place, that wasn’t my place. I love you still, I might kiss you deeply and never stop if you were here with your eyes closed against, your head against my heart. Rachael I love you, Rachael I love you, Rachael I truly love you, Rachael I love you, Rachael I love you, Rachael I love you, Rachael I love you, I want to see you healed. I got to close to your heart, and I questioned why you did the things you do, and that frightened you, and so you distanced yourself, and become a stranger while we were together, so you didn’t have to face up that fact. That God has more for you then smoking, and drinking, and conforming. I yelled at you, I tried to be your counselor and your boyfriend. That isn’t my place, I know that know. I wish I would have learned these lessons with someone else, and then had you as my prize. But that just means the spirit has something more for us, something we can’t even see. Something more for me, because I deserved better than how you treated me. All the times you disrespected me, all the times you hurt me. And now you’ll go off and in the future you’ll realize that what I said about you was all true, and you’ll change, but it’ll be with another man and that hurts because I wanted to be him.
I forgive you baby, i’ll call you that here one last time baby. Baby, my baby, my sweet baby, my beautiful baby girl, my boo, my love, my lover, my sweety, my girl, my lady, my fine baby, my princess, my moon and stars, you where my life, my whole world. I love you, I’m sorry I yelled today. I just hurt so much from this, but it’s time to brush off and move on. I’m amazing and cool, and you should miss having me. Because i’m a catch. And I rule. The thing is, I know you are too. You are amazing, but so broken. I wish I could have you, I’ve had you. I wish I could love you again one day, maybe we can be friends one day. What would be the point in wasting such a beautiful bond.
God’s my king now though, and I won’t change that for anyone. Not you, not anyone. I wish he was yours too. Hes so good to me. He would be sooo amazinng to you. He would love you in ways I can’t, no man could ever. I feel bad for wanting you to break down and have this blow up in your face. I love you face. I’m angry because I couldn’t control this. But I have to let go of this, because I don’t control you or anyone.
Love is a choice. You have to choose to love me Rachael, and you have the courage to do that. So I’m sorry for yelling, really. I love you. Have fun, grow. Change. I wish you salvation. I wish you God’s love. I’m selfish I know now, but at some point I won’t be. I love you baby. I love you Rachael. My sweet Rachael, so beautiful. So sweet. I love you, I’m sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you, I’m hurtinng because of you. I love you. I hope you regret it and tell me you love’d me so much and miss me. I love you. It’s unfair. I love you. But I wan’t the world for you. I want God’s love and freedom in you. You will heal so many girls someday. I hope we can hug and be friends, maybe even more maybe. Have a good one.
Forgiveness for Children
I wrote a children’s book, Rising Above the Storm Clouds. It is about a bunny family (yes, a bunny family) in which the two bunny children, Freddie and Ezzie, get into a little squabble. The book is a series of similes in which the children are taught what forgiveness is “like.” An excerpt follows:
“Forgiveness is like this. You’ve just had a big blow-up fight with your friend. The world is all gray clouds and gloom. You go out to the meadow with all the wildflowers. The sun is wearing a happy face, and there is your friend with the biggest smile, hoping you would come. You both lie in the meadow, look up at the cotton ball clouds, and talk of the time you took that airplane ride together. When you forgive each other, you might be surprised when you both find a fragrant summer meadow bursting forth in your heart.”
OK, adults, now you are challenged to take forgiveness seriously. You never know if a child is watching what you do…..Pass on the legacy of forgiveness.
R.E.
Former Student Leader Forgives on the 23rd Anniversary of the Tiananmen Square Massacre
The Gospel Herald: Global Chinese Christian News Service – On the 23rd anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre, one of the student leaders at the time, Chai Ling, proclaimed her forgiveness toward those responsible for the tragedy.
“Two decades ago, the Chinese government’s crackdown in Tiananmen Square left hundreds of my fellow students dead,” she explains. “Since then a new generation has grown up in China, and many of them are kept in the dark about what happened on this day in China’s history.”
Describing her forgiveness, she says, “I forgive Deng Xiaoping and Li Peng. I forgive the soldiers who stormed Tiananmen Square in 1989. I forgive the current leadership of China….”
“I pray that a culture of grace will arise in China, giving all people dignity and humanity…” Chai Ling said. “I pray that those who have suffered under oppression will not seek vengeance – like King David’s soldiers did when they killed Absalom – but have the courage to forgive. Forgiveness does not justify wrong, but rather yields the power of judgment to God.”
