Author Archive: doctorbobenright
Victim Forgives War Criminal, Charles Taylor
Washington Post. In April, the Hague convicted former president of Liberia, Charles Taylor, of war crimes. Samuel Konkofa Koroma, who was directly impacted by a 10-year war in Sierra Leone fueled by Taylor, tells his story of suffering, his rescue from certain death by a former student, and his ultimate decision to forgive.
Finding forgiveness after Charles Taylor
By Samuel Konkofa Koroma,
Samuel Konkofa Koroma has led peace-building projects in Africa for the global humanitarian agency Mercy Corps.
Last month a court in The Hague found former Liberian president Charles Taylor guilty of 11 counts of war crimes and crimes against humanity for his role in fueling a 10-year, bloody conflict in Sierra Leone. The verdict capped a trial that itself had dragged on for years and had been punctuated by moments of sensationalism, such as Wikileaks revelations and the testimonies of supermodel Naomi Campbell and actress Mia Farrow.
With all of this spectacle, it can be easy to forget what the trial was really about: thousands of people like me, and the forgiveness that makes life bearable.
I’m from Sierra Leone, the country whose conflict Taylor was convicted of helping to finance. My life has taken me to Europe and to Uganda, but I’ve never forgotten my home: an impoverished, remote village.
Corrie Ten Boom
Have you ever heard of Corrie Ten Boom? She wrote the book, The Hiding Place. She lived through a concentration camp even though many in her family did not. She was abused and left with mourning and scars.
Yet, she found a way to forgive. She expressed this in a lecture one night in Germany. Although she was unaware of it, the SS office who abused her years ago was in the audience.
After the lecture, as people gathered around Corrie, the SS officer waited in line, then extended his hand, and asked her to forgive him. Shocked, confused, and not knowing what to do, she forgave.
How could she forgive so quickly? From her narrative in the book, it all sounds perfectly legitimate to me. She felt a love for him, she says in the book.
How is this possible? I will not provide the answer. I would like you to research it for yourself and then see how that pertains to your life.
R.E.
Why Older People Are More Apt to Forgive
Mental Health News Organization – People become happier as they get older, according to recent research. Happiness significantly rises for the over 50-crowd, and while physical health may decrease as people get older, mental well-being increases, something researchers attribute to the lowered personal and professional expectations older people place on themselves.
Something else that comes with old age: an increased capacity to forgive others. It’s easier for older adults to forgive than it is for younger adults.
A recent study set out to examine the reason behind this positive relationship between age and forgiveness. Researchers hypothesized that the two personality traits of agreeableness and neuroticism (the degree of negativity in a person’s response to life situations) explain age differences in tendencies to forgive.
The study looked at individuals who ranged in age from 19-84 years and found that older adults showed higher levels of agreeableness and lower levels of neuroticism than younger adults. How does this relate to forgiveness? More agreeable people are more forgiving than less agreeable ones, and more neurotic individuals are less forgiving than less neurotic ones. Consequently, older people are more apt to forgive. Read the full story.
My mother seems to suffer from excessive guilt. Now that I am adult, she keeps asking me to forgive her for how she parented me when I was a child. I actually see no big deal here. So, do I tell her that I forgive her, even though I don’t think she did anything wrong?
Your mother seems to need your reassurance that you love her and that she is a good person. Her standards for herself are higher than yours in judging her parenting skills. If it were me, I would say something like this: “When people forgive others, they see the others as worthwhile and of great value. Mom, you are of great worth and of infinite value to me. When people forgive others, they love them. Mom, I love you without condition. Now that I have shown the attributes of forgiveness to you, may I make a suggestion? I think that you should forgive yourself for anything you think you might have done that is still causing you guilt. I want you to have peace regarding how you raised me. I think you did a wonderful job of that.”
Who Has the Right to Forgive This?
Jerome Simpson is a professional football player for the Minnesota Vikings. He recently asked fans to forgive him for spending 15 days in jail on a drug-related charge.
He pleaded guilty on March 1 to a felony charge. Two pounds of marijuana were shipped to his Kentucky home in September when he was a member of the Cincinnati Bengals
“I’m not a drug dealer or anything,” he said. He has served his time.
So, do fans have the right to forgive him? After all, the fans had nothing to do with the purchase. They are not members of his immediate family who might be directly hurt by the incident. Can fans legitimately forgive him?
I think the answer is, “Yes” because fans put faith in athletic heroes and come to legitimately expect good conduct to go along with excellent athletic ability. Fans invest time and money in the athletes and teams and therefore have a right to resentment. They then have the right to offer or to withhold forgiveness.
In an earlier blog post (April 5, 2012) I made the point that it was not legitimate for a blogger to forgive the Chicago Cubs players for failing to win the 2003 National League Championship Series. So, what is the difference between the current call for forgiving an athlete and the previous caution not to do so?
The key to the answer is this: Was genuine injustice done in each case?
R.E.
