Our Forgiveness Blog
Quotations on Forgiveness from Desmond Tutu (Honorary Board Member of the International Forgiveness Institute)
We are made for loving. If we don’t love, we will be like plants without water.
Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.
When we see others as the enemy, we risk becoming what we hate. When we oppress others, we end up oppressing ourselves. All of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others.
Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones are not about pretending that things are other than they are. It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong. True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.
A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.
Robert
The Clash of Forgiveness and Evil
Lance Morrow: “Evil possesses an instinct for theater, which is why, in an era of gaudy and gifted media, evil may vastly magnify its damage by the power of horrific images.” If this is true, we need forgiveness all the more in our times.
Is there a better way of destroying the damaging effects of evil than forgiveness? As a mode of peace, forgiveness is a paradox because at the same time it is a weapon, one that fights against the ravages of evil. By destroying resentment, forgiveness is a protection for individuals, families, groups, and societies.
Robert
Forgiveness and Trust
When you forgive, you do not say, “Because I forgive you, I now trust you.” No. You can forgive and still not trust. If the person is showing you that he or she is a danger to you, then mistrust of his or her behavior is warranted. At the same time, and this is stated specifically to those who have experienced trauma, be careful not to confuse a general mistrust and particular mistrust toward a particular person. In other words, many traumatized people have a pervasive mistrust that needs work. Sometimes the traumatized person meets someone who truly is a good person, reliable, and safe to be with, yet the mistrust from past relationships is so great that he or she just cannot give of oneself in the new relationship. Knowing this and working deliberately on the previous issues of mistrust will help. Forgiveness will help. Time will help. Trust is such a delicate thing and needs work if it will improve.
From the book, The Forgiving Life, APA Books, 2012.
Robert
Why Forgiveness Education Matters
We have forgiveness education curriculum guides for teachers, parents, and school counselors in our Store. The guides show you, step-by-step, how to implement forgiveness education for about one hour a week or less to children as young as age 4 or as old as age 17. The medium for instructing students on forgiveness is through stories. We have summaries of these stories for your examination and use as you wish.
Our research shows that as students learn about forgiveness, they become less angry and can increase in academic achievement. After all, if someone is 
fuming internally, it is hard to pay attention to the regular school subjects.
Take a look below at what teachers in Milwaukee’s central-city are saying after teaching forgiveness for 12 to 15 weeks, about one hour a week (4-year averages):
- 91% of the teachers found the forgiveness curriculum materials easy to use.
- 75% of the teachers observed that, as a whole, the students decreased in anger as a result of learning about forgiveness.
- 78% of the teachers observed that the students increased in cooperation as a result of learning about forgiveness.
- 71% of the teachers observed that, as a whole, the students improved in their academic achievement as a result of learning about forgiveness.
- 91% of the teachers thought that they became a better overall instructor as a result of teaching the forgiveness curriculum.
- 93% of the teachers thought that they became a better person as a result of teaching the forgiveness curriculum.
- 84% of the teachers thought that their classrooms as a whole began to function better as a result of the forgiveness curriculum.
- 76% of the teachers thought that the school as a whole began to show improvement because of the forgiveness education program.
“Unless You Forgive the Situation”……Can One Forgive “the Situation”?
We came across this expression recently while browsing the web. The author wanted to make a point about the forgiver’s well-being by encouraging forgiveness…..of a situation.
Can a person forgive a situation? No. That is not possible. Why? Forgiveness is a moral virtue (as are justice, patience, and kindness as examples). All moral virtues are toward other people or living beings (we can be compassionate to a wounded dog, for example). Moral virtues do not point toward storms or earthquakes. Why is that? The purpose of moral virtues is to serve, to make better, to uplift in goodness. We do not serve thunderstorms or try to make earthquakes morally better. We do not uplift a dying tree in moral goodness either.
This does not mean that we do not try to restore a tree or to prevent damage from earthquakes. It does mean that our response to **situations** is of a different kind than our response to other **persons. **
Robert
