Archive for October, 2012
Can there be such a thing as too much forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a moral virtue as is justice, kindness, and love. So, let us ask the question in a different way: Can we ever have too much justice? The answer is no. How can someone be fair to an excessive degree? Can we have too much courage? Again, the answer is no. We can distort courage, or any other virtue, by engaging in one of the vices associated with a given virtue. One vice associated with courage is reckless bravado. In the name of courage, a person who is a non-swimmer, for example, might jump in a stormy sea to save a drowning dog. This is not courage, but instead is reckless bravado, an unwise exaggeration of courage.
So, as we cannot have too much of a genuine virtue, as we explained with our example of justice, it seems that we cannot have too much forgiveness, either. A lot of goodness is not a bad thing.
As we saw in the example of courage, what we have to guard against is one of the vices associated with a given virtue. One such vice connected to forgiveness is excessive submissiveness, as we let others take advantage of us. Yet, as we can see, this is not a problem of forgiveness itself, but of the distortion of forgiveness.
Bullied Teenage Girl Kills Herself, Leaves YouTube Video Behind
ABC News.go.com – Bullying behavior has claimed yet another victim, Amanda Todd, age 15, who apparently killed herself after years of struggling with being bullied. She chronicled her struggle on a YouTube video. The IFI is doing its part to combat bullying by developing a program that targets the anger within those who bully so that they no longer displace their inner rage onto others.
Read the full story and watch the video: Bullied Teen Leaves Behind Chilling YouTube Video.
Canadian Football Coach Asks Forgiveness After Devastating Loss
Chatham Daily News, Chatham, Ontario, Canada – The Canadian football (soccer) head coach, Stephen Hart, asked for forgiveness following a crushing 8-1 defeat from Honduras. As a result, the Canadian team is now out of the CONCACAF’s final round of World Cup qualifying for a fourth consecutive cycle.
In the guts of a dim and damp Estadio Olimpico Tuesday night, Canadian head coach Stephen Hart met with a small number of Canadian media after watching the Reds register one of the worst results in the history of Canadian sports.
Following an unthinkable 8-1 drubbing in Honduras, a result that put Canada out of CONCACAF’s final round of World Cup qualifying for a fourth consecutive cycle, Hart, at times, was poetic, acknowledging what was a Honduran “lesson in football” and using hard-hitting words like “disturbing” and “crushing” in describing 90 minutes of hell.
He was honest and regretful, asking for forgiveness on behalf of his players while announcing he didn’t expect Canadian supporters to forgive him for a result that will likely haunt him for the rest of his life.
Our question is this: Did the team play at least reasonably up to their ability level? Did they play honestly? If so, what is there to forgive?
Read the story – “Canadian soccer team begs forgiveness” – and then you decide if forgiveness is even an issue.
IFI Program Responds to Destructive Bullying Behavior
ABC News reports that bullying behavior has claimed yet another victim, Amanda Todd, age 15, who apparently killed herself after years of struggling with being bullied. She chronicled her struggle on a YouTube video.
“This kind of tragedy must end,” says Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute (IFI). “To address this critical issue, we just recently have produced an Anti-Bullying Forgiveness Program focused on helping those who bully to forgive.”
Those who bully usually have pent-up anger, according to Dr. Enright, and they displace their own wounds onto others.
“Our program is meant to take the anger out of the heart of those who bully so that they no longer bully others,” Dr. Enright added. “We hope the IFI Anti-Bullying Forgiveness Program gets into as many schools, internationally, as possible.”
The IFI program is for children in grade 4 (age 9) through grade 9 (age 14) and is intended for use with those who are showing bullying behavior. The purpose of this guide is to help such students to forgive those who have deeply hurt them. Bullying behavior does not occur in a vacuum, Dr. Enright believes, but can result from deep inner rage, not resulting from those who are bullied but often from others who have hurt them in their family, school, or neighborhood.
“We have scientifically demonstrated that forgiveness can be a powerful way of reducing pent-up anger,” Dr. Enright says, referring to his 25 years of forgiveness study and research. “We believe that the competent use of our new guide will not only reduce–but also play a part in eliminating–bullying behavior. It is our contention that bullying starts from within, as anger, and comes out as displaced anger onto the victim. Forgiveness targets this anger and then reduces it, thus reducing or eliminating the displaced anger which comes out as bullying.”
The eight-week Anti-Bullying Forgiveness Program is available in the Store section of this website.
Eliminating Bullying Behavior that Destroys Lives
ABC News reports that bullying behavior has claimed yet another victim, Amanda Todd, age 15, who apparently killed herself after years of struggling with being bullied. This kind of tragedy must end. We at the IFI just recently have published an Anti-Bullying Forgiveness Program focused on helping those who bully to forgive. You see, those who bully usually have pent-up anger…..and they displace their own wounds onto others. Our program is meant to take the anger out of the heart of those who bully so that they no longer bully others. Please check out this life-giving anti-bullying program, which we hope gets into as many schools, internationally, as possible.
Dr. Bob
