The Dilemma of Cyberbullying: What Is the Solution?

A teenage girl received a series of texts allegedly from her boyfriend in which she is severely demeaned. Her reaction is to take her own life. The boyfriend never wrote the texts. His account was hacked for the purpose of cyberbullying.

Cyberbulling is a relatively new term to signify aggressive communication through the electronic media of cell phone texting, email, and social networking sites on the Internet. It is an insidious problem because it is too often anonymous, goes viral (spread to many others), and the victim feels powerless. Those who engage in cyberbullying are less easily identified than those who punch someone in the face.

So, what can we do about all of this? Of course, we can warn our children as StopCyberbullying does (the first cyberbullying prevention program in North America). We can call for more vigilance so that those who engage in this behavior are more easily identified, as is suggested in the film Submit the Documentary.

Justice is a vital part of cleaning up this problem. Yet, this is insufficient. The seeking of justice (punishment, arrest, or other form of fairness) is a temporary protection, but it is not a solution. We need to get to the heart of the matter which is the heart of those who engage in such destructive behavior.

Those who cyberbully have enraged hearts. They are displacing their anger onto others. They are wounded. If we only see their behavior, then we are missing the punchline that they are wounded inside. We can constrain behavior through justice and we can cure wounded hearts through forgiveness.

In previously posted blogs, we already have discussed the necessity of our forgiveness education anti-bullying guide for teachers, school counselors, psychologists, and social workers being in as many schools as possible. The uniqueness of this guide is that it deliberately targets the anger in the heart of those who bully. The principle behind the guide is this: Emotionally-wounded people wound others. We have a way to help bind up these emotional wounds through forgiveness education. We help those who wound others to heal from the wounds inflicted previously on them, thus reducing their motivation to wound others. The information for this guide is available in the IFI Education Store.

Yet, what do we do in the case of cyberbullying? We must recall that those who do this are not easily identified. Oh, yes they are. Although we do not catch them in the act of punching someone in the face, we can identify them because the overly-angry tend to wear that attitude on their face, in their words, in the trouble they find in school….over and over. Of course, not all who are excessively angry engage in cyberbullying. Yet, those who cyberbully likely come from this group of the excessively angry. We have to cast our intervention-net widely in this age of cyber-anonymity.

School counselors, psychologists, and social workers please take note: When you have in front of you a student who is entrenched in rebellion, in verbal aggression, in indifference to school itself, please presume that this person of inherent worth has a wounded heart. Consider presenting the contents of our anti-bullying curriculum to him or her individually or in a group for those showing such symptoms. You are indirectly covering cyberbullying if you do this. The more you can target the angry students, the more you may be either preventing or remediating cyberbullying behavior.

The stakes are way too high to ignore this advice. Your “yes” to mending the wounded hearts of students in your school through helping them to forgive could, quite literally, save lives.


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Categories: Anger, Bullying, Children, Counseling, Education, Our Forgiveness Blog, Suicide, Trauma


  1. Alex says:

    As someone who has been in the field of psychology for over 2 decades, I can tell you that this post has wisdom. So often the problems manifested by students in the schools have a significant anger component to them. It looks like you have unlocked a central component to serving those in schools who need help so that they do not destroy others.

  2. Beth says:

    Wake up call, anyone? Thank you for the strong message. We need to hear it.

  3. Chris says:

    What is happening in the world with this inhumanity toward our fellow man? It makes me angry that these youth push their own poison onto others and then hide like cowards. Your forgiveness program can protect the victims. You talked in an earlier

  4. Chris says:

    (I submitted the previous comment too soon, so I will continue here)…….You talked in an earlier blog post about whole-classroom approaches to forgiveness education. This would work for cyberbullying, too, because, unless they miss class that day, those students who engage n cyberbullying will be there to hear the message.

  5. Marcy says:

    Punishment alone will not stop those who bully. Being punished can make an adolescent dig in his heels all the more and fight against the rules of the school. Forgiveness education tells those who bully that they too are important. This is not nonsense but is the truth. Those who bully need to hear this truth.

  6. Samantha says:

    How much does your gudie for counselors cost? I already checked. It is $30. How much is one human life worth? I think schools can afford your program.


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