I’ve come with a question about bearing pain – I get the goodness in not passing it back to the injurer or onto others – but don’t quite understand what I actually do with it when I’m bearing pain? Is it about my perception of the pain changing from being ‘negative pain’ to ‘positive pain’ and is that a healthy path to go down?

When we use the term “bearing the pain” we do not think that it has to include a re-interpretation of the pain in its initial stages. The key is this: a) realize that you are in pain; b) realize how much pain you are in; c) be willing to stand with that pain no matter what. In other words, you are accepting what is happening to you so that you do not deliberately or unwittingly give that pain to others.

Later in the forgiveness process you will begin to see new meaning for your life as you bear the pain. ??You see that you are growing stronger. You see that you can overcome tremendous pain. ??You see that you can be a conduit of good for others. ??These new meanings take time to emerge. ??A first step is to accept the pain as it is and through the process of forgiveness this pain starts to diminish and then leave.

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Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness


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