The Wounded Do the Wounding

Think about one person who has hurt you. Is it possible that the person hurt you out of his or her own woundedness? In other words, is there something in his or her past that he or she is carrying, something so painful that the wounds were thrown onto you?

I do not ask this for you to find an excuse or to “let it go.” What happened to you was wrong, is wrong, and always will be wrong. There are no excuses here, but there may be wounds he or she suffered.

I ask so that you can understand him or her a little more deeply.

Might the one who wounded the one who wounded you have been wounded by still another person? If we trace it back far enough, we could have a long line of people who have wounded the next one in line, who wounded the next one, all the way up to you, who was wounded and did not deserve it.

Please try to picture the truth inside this person. If he or she has been unjustly wounded by another, I ask you to see it.


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Categories: Our Forgiveness Blog, What Forgiveness is


  1. Abbie says:

    I have seen this in my own family. It is eye-opening to see this. We kind of pass bad habits down to others. Wake up call!

  2. Samantha says:

    If the wounded do the wounding and I am wounded, then I am vulnerable to hurting others. It is time for me to practice forgiveness.

  3. Chris says:

    Great graphic. Once a heart looks like that watch out! The person might wound another….and another….

  4. Carlos says:

    I have been guilty of this myself. My father was a very good man, but he had a temper. When it was my turn to parent, I too would be temperamental sometimes with my own children. I hope they can overcome this so they do not pass it on. I still have time to work with them on this.

  5. Amy says:

    This is almost like what the philosophers call the infinite regress where there is no end to it. And I suppose there might not be an end to it until someone at some time takes the amazing step to actually forgive. Think of how heroic this is—to stop the infinite regress of anger.


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