Making a decision to go ahead and forgive is hard. Even when I try to “will” myself to forgive by saying over and over, I will forgive,” I have a hard time doing it. What can I do when I do not feel like forgiving so that I can make that important decision to go ahead?

Our research has shown that the most difficult step in the forgiveness process is this very issue, to simply start the process by making the decision to forgive.  So, please be aware that you are not alone in this.  I would also recommend that you look toward the finish line (but please do not be in a hurry to get there).  See down the track that there is emotional relief waiting for you.  If the one who hurt you is willing, there may be reconciliation waiting for you. As you reflect on these benefits, you may be more willing to start the process.  And do not forget to bring along the virtue of courage, which also will help you start.

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Categories: Ask Dr. Forgiveness

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