Two Purposes for You Toward Your Offender

1) You have a goal of helping the one who hurt you to grow in character. By your love, you can now gently ask something of him or her. What will you ask of him or her, after you have forgiven (so that you can approach this person in love)?

2) You have a goal of trying as best you can to reconcile with the person who hurt you. Is he or she remorseful (with an inner sorrow) and repentant (as he or she expresses this)? Even if the answer is “no,” if he or she is not harmful to you, you can remain in his or her presence with the hope that your love will help the person grow in insight so that he or she changes for the better.

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Categories: Consequences of Forgiving, Our Forgiveness Blog


  1. Adhas says:

    This helps me to find importance in the act of forgiving someone. They may need my forgiveness to “get their act together.” Thank you.

  2. Chris says:

    Good point, Adhas. As we forgive we do it for the other. I sometimes need to be reminded of this.

  3. Samantha says:

    Reconciliation is so hard sometimes. I think it is because 50% of it is out of my control. I can forgive whenever I wish, but to reconcile requires the other person’s cooperation, including being trustworthy.

  4. Nadine says:

    Knowing specific purposes for forgiving makes it all the more meaningful. I feel motivated now.


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