Can I forgive without having empathy toward the one who hurt me? In other words, is sympathy enough?
Let us first define our terms. Empathy involves stepping inside the other’s shoes and understanding the world from his or her viewpoint. To sympathize with another is to see his or her distress and to react to that (without necessarily feeling that person’s feelings, as occurs with empathy). Yes, I do think that people can forgive by looking toward the other and seeing his or her woundedness without then going the extra step of entering into that person’s world through empathy. Sometimes, the thought of empathizing with a hurtful other is too frightening for the forgiver to try to accomplish. At such times, insight about how others have treated the person and his or her difficulty in dealing with this treatment can be sufficient to move forgiveness along.
