Author Archive: directorifi
Forgiveness Guidelines for Therapists
Dr. Suzanne Freedman
A recent essay by Professor Suzanne Freedman of the University of Northern Iowa was published in the Greater Good Magazine of the University of California, Berkeley. The essay is titled “Seven Guidelines for Therapists Helping Clients to Forgive.” It provides helpful information for mental health professionals whose clients want to work on forgiving those who have been unjust to them.
Dr. Forgiveness Answers 2,000th Question!
Dr. Robert Enright
The submenu ‘Ask Dr. Forgiveness’ on this website has surpassed 2,000 questions and answers as of May 2026. This website feature has been operational since 2013. The 2,000th entry is this:
If people deny their deep anger over a long period of time, might they forget that anger? If so, would this then lead to the situation where the forgiveness process is no longer necessary?
If the injustices that led to the anger were serious and hurtful, the anger is not necessarily extinguished when the psychological defense of denial is in place. In other words, the anger can manifest in other ways, including internal compromises such as fatigue or other physical challenges. Also, anger can manifest indirectly toward innocent others as impatience, annoyance over small issues, and other disruptive behaviors. Forgiving is a protection for yourself and others as you move along your life’s path.
It seems to me that forgiving myself is harder than forgiving other people. Do you agree with this, and if so, why might this be the case?
I agree that it often is harder to forgive ourselves than to forgive other people. I think this is the case because we tend to be harder on ourselves than on others. Therefore, it may take more practice and more time to forgive oneself. Also, if people deny their wrongdoing, this can delay self-forgiveness, making it difficult due to a lack of practice. Further, some people distort self-forgiveness, thinking that it is about forgiving one’s own sins, which is not what self-forgiveness is. We do not forgive other people’s sins when we forgive them for wrongdoing. Instead, we begin to see the humanity in the other person. It is similar with self-forgiveness in that we see our own humanity and conclude that we are more than the offenses we have committed, without using this as an excuse to keep engaging in the unjust behavior.
The Struggle to Seek Forgiveness and to Forgive
Image by Hert Niks, Pexels.com
Olympian Sturla Holm Lægreid, who won a bronze medal at the 2026 Winter Olympics, shared his challenge of seeking forgiveness from his girlfriend after he had an affair during the competition. His girlfriend shared her struggle to offer forgiveness. The story can be found on people.com here:
https://people.com/sturla-holm-laegreid-ex-girlfriend-breaks-her-silence-after-affair-confession-2026-winter-olympics-11904252?utm_source=chatgpt.com
I have forgiven a co-worker for unjust behavior, but I now am having a hard time trusting her. I know from your writings that trust is different from forgiveness. Can you give me some advice on how to increase my trust now that I have forgiven the co-worker?
You are correct that forgiveness differs from trust. The latter, when focused on a particular person rather than an overall trust of people in general, concerns reconciliation. I discuss the nuances of trust toward the other person when reconciliation is being initiated in the following essay at the Psychology Today website, in January 2026:
