Archive for September, 2025

I started to forgive a family member because he angered me a lot. As I began to gain perspective on this person, I realized that he is showing no remorse. Should I stop the forgiving process or not?

Forgiving others is unconditional in that it should not be dependent on what the other person does or says. If you are motivated to forgive, then you should keep going with the forgiveness process. It might not lead to reconciliation, but it could set you free from excessive anger.

At what point does forgiveness become necessary? In other words, I can let a lot of injustices go as I move on or forget about them. How can I tell when I should begin to forgive instead of simply letting things go? And when is it better to act—to defend your rights through justice—than to extend forgiveness?

The word *necessary* has at least two meanings when you ask, “At what point does forgiveness become necessary?” The first connotation focuses on the need to cultivate forgiveness because it is morally right to do so. The term *necessary* has a second meaning that is focused on your health and well-being.

Let us begin with the first issue. Given that forgiveness is a virtue and that practicing it is always beneficial (when balanced with other virtues), it follows that it is good to extend forgiveness whenever you are the target of unfair treatment and whenever you are inspired to do so. Is it required? Yes, if your objective is to develop into a more moral person (for instance, becoming more good and loving). From a societal perspective, is it required—that is, demanded? No, forgiveness is not *necessary* in the sense that you have to extend it or risk punishment. Society does not demand it.

Now we turn to the second definition of *necessary,* which is the situation in which your health might be at risk. It is time to forgive if you are experiencing resentment and intense anger that is beginning to negatively impact your energy levels, focus, and happiness. Is it required? If you want to improve both physical and mental well-being, then, yes, it may be required as the best path forward for this. Forgiveness is the best way to deal with the negative effects that can come after unfair treatment.

Regarding your final question,  you do not have to choose between forgiveness and justice. You can appropriate both at the same time. As you forgive, the way you ask for justice might be gentler than if you approached the person while you are very angry.