Archive for December, 2025
If the person who behaved badly continues with the unacceptable behavior, is it appropriate to just shut down forgiving and try something else?
As you forgive, even from the start, you can ask for fairness. If the other person persists in wrongdoing, persist (gently) in asking for fairness. It is important to continue forgiving because your anger at this point could be even higher than it was at the start. So, your continued forgiving, at the very least, is a protection for your well-being. The “something else” you mention is your quest for justice.
Forgiveness is such a beautiful response to moral injury. In your experience, have you ever seen a person who has done wrong reject this offer of mercy?
Yes, in this imperfect world, some people reject the other’s forgiving and sometimes can get irritated by it. In other words, the one who did wrong is not ready to face the reality that, indeed, wrong was done. When this happens, I recommend that the forgiver recognize that the other person is not at the same point in the reconciliation process. I counsel the forgiver to have patience. The other might be open to this overture of mercy at some point in the future. If not, the forgiver could consider forgiving the other person, even for this refusal to acknowledge the wrongdoing.
