Author Archive: directorifi
Sorry again for another follow-up question. When I read your response that self-forgiveness is more than self-acceptance and leads to self-love, I can’t help but see narcissism in this. Isn’t the person now engaging in too much of a focus on the self, which can lead to an exaggerated sense of self-importance, inducing narcissism?
Narcissism is a vice. Genuine self-love is a virtue. When people genuinely love themselves following misbehavior, they are not saying how great and wonderful and perfect they are. Instead, they courageously acknowledge wrongdoing and this requires humility, not narcissism. When people conclude that they have worth on the same level as all other people, they are not exalting themselves above all others. Instead, they are leveling the moral playing field, seeing how all people are special, unique, and irreplaceable, including the self.
For additional information, see Inherent Worth.
Sorry for one or two more questions about self-forgiveness. I am trying to understand it. Why not just encourage people to engage in self-acceptance. Why go so far as using the words “self-forgiveness” to describe what actually is self-acceptance?
Self-acceptance and loving the self again are different. Self-acceptance has a certain ring of tolerance or putting up with the self despite the moral infraction done by the self. Loving the self is to go much more deeply than that. To love the self again is to place oneself on the same level of humanity as all others, to see one’s worth as a person, to be gentle with oneself despite imperfections. This is much more than simply tolerating the self.
For additional information, see Self-Forgiveness.
As a follow-up to my question that there is no Biblical directive to forgive the self (and thank you for your answer), I have this question: A person cannot forgive his own sins. Therefore, there is no such thing as self-forgiveness. What do you think?
To self-forgive is not to absolve oneself of sin, but instead to welcome the self back into the human community after an offense that can lead to self-loathing. A religious person can seek forgiveness from God and at the same time try to love the self again after serious moral infractions. These two, seeking forgiveness from God for sins committed and loving oneself again are not incompatible.
For additional information, see How to Forgive Yourself for a Big Mistake–Even If No One Else Will.
I am a religious person, a Christian, and I do not see any directive in scripture for forgiving oneself. Thus, I say it does not exist. What do you say?
I refer you to Mark 12:31 in the New Testament: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” We are urged there to apply the moral virtue of love to ourselves. What is self-forgiveness? It is applying the moral virtue of love toward the self when you have broken your own standards.
For additional information, see Faith and Religion.
What is a good definition of self-forgiveness and how does it differ from forgiving another person?
Self-forgiveness occurs when people, upon rational reflection, realize that they have broken their own moral standards. They then decide and try to rid themselves of resentment toward the self and to offer love once again to the self, seeing the self’s worth. Self-forgiving differs from forgiving others in this: When people break their own standards they often offend other people in that action. Thus, as people self-forgive, then they need to go to those others who were offended and seek forgiveness from them.
For additional information, see Self-Forgiveness.
