Author Archive: directorifi

Father Forgives Daughter’s Killer; Asks Others to do the Same

The Christian Science Monitor, Denver, CO — The father of a 17-year-old girl who was fatally shot at her suburban Denver high school told mourners at the girl’s memorial service that he and his wife have forgiven the killer, and he asked others to do the same.

Investigators say Karl Pierson shot Claire Davis at Arapahoe County High School on Dec. 13. She died eight days later. Pierson, 18, who was also a student at ArapahoeAnger-Rage-etc-Forgiveness High, killed himself after shooting Davis.

“My wife and I forgive Karl Pierson for what he did,” Michael Davis said. “We would ask all of you here and all of you watching to forgive Karl Pierson. He didn’t know what he was doing.”

Davis said Pierson “allowed himself to become filled with anger, rage and hatred. … The fact is that Karl was so blinded by his emotions he didn’t know what he was doing.”

Here is an excerpt from The Christian Science Monitor article:

Forgiveness is often misunderstood – and some people may even condemn Mr. Davis’s remarks, believing that they excuse Mr. Pierson’s actions or are an attempt at a “quick fix” – but forgiveness “does not cast justice aside [and] when it comes to a tragedy like this, forgiveness is a long journey,” says Robert Enright, an educational psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and author of “The Forgiving Life.”

Davis “is not all of a sudden wrapping up all of his negative emotions in a little box … and all is well,” Professor Enright says. “He’s going to be going through a process of forgiveness…. Rage might come into the picture for him” after this initial stage where “psychological Forgiveness-Excuse the crimedefenses” are kicking in, he speculates. “Forgiveness doesn’t wipe away pain; it helps us go through the pain in a healthy way to get to a healthy resolution.”

“Forgiveness simply means that the victim … on their own, irrespective of anything related to the offender, lets go of bitterness and resentment,” Enright says, and lets go of “the right to revenge,” by refusing to retaliate. Victims who forgive can still hold the offender accountable, but they are declaring their freedom – that they won’t be held hostage by the past or by anger, he says.

Read the full article
“Father of slain girl forgives Colorado shooter. Is that helpful?” and watch a video from the memorial service.

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Forgiveness Sets in Motion a Chain Reaction

Digital Journal, Toronto, Canada – Grace and Edmund Fabian spent 24 years as missionaries on the island nation of Papua New Guinea. The married couple spent all those years developing a dictionary of the Nabak language in order to translate the New Testament to the language of the Nabak. The Fabians were close to completing the project when Edmund was suddenly and tragically murdered by a man they considered a Nabak friend.

Grace initially put a pause to her work in order to navigate the country’s judicial system but ultimately she and her four children offered a simple gift to the murderer– forgiveness. Their forgiveness prompted a change within the community. In turn the Nabak people showed her a beautiful model of  reconciliation. Grace then stayed in Papua New Guinea with the Nabak people to  finish the translation of the New Testament.

“I learned that forgiveness sets in motion a chain reaction,” according to Grace, who is now called Amazing Grace by some of her friends.  “There are no loopholes in scripture that excuse us from forgiving. Forgiveness doesn’t just change ourselves, it changes others too.”

Grace’s incredible true story is told in a book she has written called, “Outrageous Grace: A Story of Tragedy and Forgiveness.” Since completing the Papua New Guinea project with Wycliffe Bible Translators, she has returned to the U.S. and now  lives in Pennsylvania where she speaks, teaches and writes. You can visit her online at

Read more at “Could You Forgive Your Husband’s Murderer?” 

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Forgiveness Perfect Gift for the Holidays

If you want your holidays to be happier, Dr. Robert Enright suggests giving the gift of forgiveness. While it is helpful any time of the year, it can be especially welcome during the holidays.

Dr. Robert Enright

“All the past pains can come tumbling down during the holidays,” Enright says.

“It’s not just a time for being with family but for reflecting back. It can be very painful.”

Enright, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, pioneered the scientific study of forgiveness–a field that now claims more than 1,000 researchers worldwide. He has spent more than 25 years researching the power of forgiveness and letting go of anger.

Enright’s research has shown that practicing forgiveness can reduce depression and anxiety and has also helped cardiac patients have better functioning hearts.

“Simply put, forgiveness is good for you,” Enright says.

This excerpt is from a UW-Madison News story on the university’s website. Read the full article: “Forgiveness perfect gift for the holidays.” The article outlines the four steps in what Dr. Enright calls “the journey of forgiveness” which he detailed in the self-help book, “Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope.”  In another of the five books he has written, “The Forgiving Life: A Pathway to Overcoming Resentment and Creating a Legacy of Love,” Dr. Enright’s guidance does more than prepare you for a single act of forgiveness–it explains how you can live the forgiving life.

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Mother of Man Shot in $10 Robbery Offers His Killer Forgiveness

WWAY News Channel 3, Wilmington, NC – Nineteen-year-old Joshua Proutey was leaving the Hannah Block Community Arts Center when he was shot in the head and killed on Dec. 13, 2012. Investigators say the killer and three others who robbed Proutey made off with $10, a cell phone and a sandwich.

Detectives eventually captured the gunman, Quintel Grady, who avoided the death penalty the state was seeking by pleading guilty to first-degree murder. His three accomplices still face charges in the case including murder and robbery.Death Row

Proutey’s mother says that in the year since her son was shot and killed, she has struggled to find the will to live. But as Grady pleaded guilty this week, she found the will to forgive the man who took her son’s life.

“This young man touched a lot of lives,” District Attorney Ben David said  of Proutey. “He knew no hate and his mother’s willingness to forgive his killer is beyond admirable.”

Read the full story and watch the newscast: “Victim’s mom offers forgiveness as son’s killer pleads guilty.”

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Widow Forgives Man Who Killed Her Soldier Husband

MailOnline, London, England – The widow of a former decorated soldier who was killed by a single punch during an early-morning fight over a taxi has offered her complete forgiveness to his killer.

David Ryding, 26, died after being knocked out by Ben Hartwell, 22, on July 7 during a heated argument while the pair waited at a taxi stand in Rugby, Warwickshire. The recently married father-of-one, who left active duty in 2011, hit his head on the  ground after being struck by Hartwell. He died in a hospital the following day. An inquest into his death determined that Hartwell acted in self-defense and no charges were filed.

Future-ForgivenessFollowing the inquest, Ryding’s widow Nicola requested a meeting with Hartwell where she told him she did not blame him and wanted him to move forward with his life. 

“Our family and Mr. Hartwell’s family have been deeply affected by the events which took place and just hope that if any good can come from this tragedy, it is that awareness will be raised regarding the tragic results an instantaneous event such as this can lead to,” Nicola Ryding said. “Our thoughts are with Mr. Hartwell and all his family and we hope he can come to terms with what happened and move on with his life.”

“David will be in our hearts forever and live on in the wonderful memories we shared,” she added. “We are satisfied that the inquest was  conducted thoroughly and we respect the verdict made.”

Read the full story: Widow’s extraordinary forgiveness towards the man who killed her soldier husband.

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