Author Archive: directorifi

Forgiveness Therapy Can Reduce and Even Eliminate Psychological Depression

Dr. Suzanne Freedman and I did a scientific study in which we helped women who were incest survivors to forgive their perpetrators. This does not mean that we encouraged them to reconcile. They went through a 14-month forgiveness process that involved acknowledging their own anger and sadness, committing to forgive the offending person, trying to understand him as deeply as possible, trying as best they could to see how deeply wounded he is (not to condone or excuse him, but to better understand him), cultivating compassion when possible, and finding new meaning from what they suffered.

After the 14 months the women, who came to us psychologically depressed, had no depression at all. The absence of depression continued at least through the next 14 months when we reassessed their level of this challenging condition. It was the first scientific paper ever published  to show that incest survivors not only can reduce depression but also eliminate it, at least for 14 months following the ending of therapy. Forgiveness made this healing possible.

Despite this positive outcome, we must not jump to the conclusion that everyone who tries to forgive will be depression-free at the journey’s end. Different people will have different outcomes. Yet, even for those who experience only some relief, this bit of improvement surely is better than never having tried to forgive and never experiencing any change in the level of depression.

Excerpt from the book, 8 Keys to Forgiveness by Robert Enright (W.W. Norton, New York City).

Forgiveness: How Anyone Can Learn This Virtue

MercatorNet.com, North Strathfield, Australia –

The world is overshadowed by atrocities which cry out for justice – and forgiveness: the brutality of ISIS, the abductions of Boko Haram; the Boston Marathon bombing; terrorist attacks in New York, London, Madrid, Sydney, Paris; the Charleston massacre…

We asked Robert Enright, a psychologist and founding board member of the International Forgiveness Institute, as well as author of a new book, 8 Keys to Forgiveness, how some people manage to forgive even crimes like these, and whether it’s an art that can be learned.

That’s the introduction to an article published today by MercatorNet, an Australian online news and commentary site whose goal is “navigating modern complexities.” In the article, Dr. Enright explains:

• Why some people forgive while others remain full of hate;
• Why forgiveness is so much more than just a coping mechanism; 
• Why forgiveness education should be a learning staple for all children; and,
• How forgiveness, including self-forgiveness, can be learned by anyone in the world.

“Forgiveness is about having love in the heart for those who have not been loving to you,” Dr. Enright explains. He adds that the “how to” of forgiveness, including even how to forgive yourself, is spelled out in his just-released book, 8 Keys to Forgiveness.

“Forgiveness is open to all people in the world if they choose to exercise this particular virtue when hurt by others,” the article quotes Dr. Enright as saying. “Our research includes people of many faith traditions, as well as those with no faith. When those who choose the forgiveness path finish the work, their well-being tends to improve as seen in the research findings.”

Read the entire article: Forgiveness: why we need to have mercy on the merciless. . .and how anyone can learn this virtue.

Societal Influence on. . . . . . .All Kinds of Things. But, What About Forgiveness?

Stop smoking!  The message worked at least in America as the number of people smoking and their frequency of smoking has plummeted over the past four decades ever since the Surgeon General’s warning of the harmful effects of cigarettes.

Societies can alter opinions, norms, and individual behavior.

On Displacing Your Anger

Sophia: When you are angry, do you keep it in or does it sometimes go flying out at others, sometimes to people who are innocent bystanders, such as your stepchildren? Sometimes when people have had a hard day at the office, they come home and yell at the pet dog, when all along the yelling is really meant for the boss.

Inez: I see what you mean. Let me think. Yes, although I hate to admit
it, I can be kind of rough with my stepchildren when Sterling has been huffy with me.

Sophia: Do you see that your anger is meant for him and then you take it out on the children?

Inez: Yes.

Sophia: And they do not deserve it.

Inez: Ouch!

Sophia: Right. You are showing the psychological defense of displacement when you do that—when you take out your anger on others who were not part of the injustice—and everyone does this to a greater or lesser extent from time to time. When we do this, we are not bearing the pain. We are transferring the pain to the innocent.

Inez: No wonder the world is so full of emotional wounds.

Sophia: And our forgiving by bearing the pain helps us not to transfer more wounds to others and into the world.

Inez: I’m listening.

Enright, Robert D. (2012-07-05). The Forgiving Life (APA Lifetools) (Kindle Locations 1175-1187). American Psychological Association. Kindle Edition.

Enright, Robert D. (2012-07-05). The Forgiving Life (APA Lifetools) (Kindle Locations 1172-1175). American Psychological Association. Kindle Edition.

African-American Church has “deep history of forgiveness”

Editor’s Note: This a follow-up article to the story we posted yesterday on the forgiveness offered by the victim’s families to the suspect accused of killing nine people during a Bible study session at a Charleston church (see below). Journalist Adam Harris wrote this article for BBC News.

“What we saw in court today was the best of the black tradition – that your evilness, your hatred will not distort the faith,” says Dr. Eddie  Glaude, professor of religion and African American studies at Princeton University. “There is a tendency to normalise black forgiveness and, in doing so, lose sight of what a miracle it is.”

By all accounts, the African-American church has a deep history of forgiveness rooted in faith and tied into the history of white supremacy in the US.

“Members of the black church believe in the ethos of the founding figures: all persons are created equal in the sight of God,” according to Dr. Alton Pollard III, dean of the Howard School of Divinity.

That notion is what makes it easier to forgive.

“God is always greater and because of that, even in horrific conditions, we can still be faithful,” says Dr Pollard. “Because of faithfulness, we have the capacity to forgive.”

That ability to forgive has emerged as both an act of mercy and a tool against oppression.

Civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said: “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.”

“There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us,” he added. “When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

Read the unedited, full-length version of this BBC News article – Charleston shootings: Power of forgiveness in African-American church

Here’s another BBC News article you’ll want to read – South Carolina shooting: Historic Church that hosted Dr King about the amazing history of the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church (AME) and its important role in the civil rights movement. In 1822, for example, the Church was a target of the authorities who foiled a planned slave revolt led by Denmark Vesey, one of the founders. More than 1,000 people were arrested over the plan and 35 of them, including Vesey, were executed and the church itself was burned to the ground. It was rebuilt in 1834. As it looks today. ⇒