Author Archive: doctorbobenright
Whom to Forgive and Why
A recent news item in the New York Times reported on an American hockey player now playing for a German team. Read the article here. The important aspect of this story is that this hockey player, Evan Kaufmann, is Jewish and he lost grandparents during the Holocaust. He talked of forgiveness. The burning questions are two: 1) Whom does he forgive? 2) For what offense does he forgive? I do not think that he has to forgive Germans now with whom he interacts if they have had nothing to do with the Holocaust and if they are not offending him now. After all, they have committed no injustice. Perhaps he is forgiving the actual Nazis who executed his grandparents.
Does he then forgive on behalf of his grandparents? That decision would seem to be in the hands of the grandparents themselves who are not present on this earth to make such a decision. Does this mean that he cannot forgive the Nazis? I think he can. He can forgive them for all of the pain that they have caused him as he walks the streets of Dusseldorf, recalls the hatred, recalls the loss of growing up without the grandparents. He can forgive the Nazis, even if they are deceased, even if he does not know them personally or even know their names. He can forgive them for the pain he now carries as a result of the atrocity perpetrated on his grandparents.
Is the saying “Forgive and forget” true? Do we forget when we forgive?
“Forgive and forget” is such a common expression. It actually was the title to Lewis Smedes’ 1984 book. He, by the way, was not thrilled with that title. The publisher chose the title, as I understand it.
When we forgive someone for a considerable injustice, we do not develop a kind of moral amnesia, somehow blotting out the memory of our deepest wounds. No, we instead recall the deep hurts against us, lest they happen again. Instead of forgetting, I think we remember in new ways. We look back and instead of seeing an evil person who hurt us, we see a wounded person. Instead of seeing ourselves as crushed by the event, we see ourselves as having grown stronger because of it. We remember with a greater gentleness, more compassion, even more love.
The Healing Power of Forgiveness
Rev. Michael Barry, the director of pastoral care at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Philadelphia, says unforgiveness is considered a disease which can affect your health, especially if you’re fighting a long term illness. Once you forgive, Barry adds, you release your burden of hatred and only then can your healing begin. Watch the video.
Forgiveness is the best revenge
National Random Acts of Kindness week, kicked off by Valentine’s Day, has everyone smiling, opening doors and handing out hugs and chocolates. Want to join in and do something kind? Try forgiving someone who has hurt you. Not only will you feel better, your health will benefit as well.
Forgiveness lived, forgiveness shared
The Bruderhof, a Christian community founded in the 1920s in the Anabaptist tradition, focuses on living the life of the early Christians and engages in many concrete initiatives that aim to infuse the Christian message into today???s society. One of their main forms of outreach involves bringing a message of forgiveness and reconciliation to thousands of youth in the U.S. each year and collaborating with various international organizations who share their passion for peace.
