Our Forgiveness Blog
Mother’s “I Forgive You” Reduces Sentence for Man Convicted of Manslaughter
CBS Evening News, Tallahassee, Florida – When Eric Smallridge was convicted of DUI manslaughter in 2003, Renee Napier, who lost her daughter, was ambivalent about forgiving. Yet, over time, her sense of forgiveness deepened to such a degree that she went to the authorities and asked that Smallridge’s sentence be reduced. He was released last week, long before he was expected to be released. He and Renee now go into high schools together, warning students about the dangers of drinking and driving. Forgiveness as a gift to Eric has become an indirect gift to students, who are given important information on driver safety.
Read the full story: “Mother’s forgiveness gives convict second chance.”
Inherent Worth
Inherent worth: the true thought that all persons have a built-in, never-needs-to-be-earned, quality of tremendous value. All people. Even those who are unjust to us. Even ourselves when we are feeling low.
I think that no war (or major conflict in home or neighborhood or community) could ever start if those with the ammunition to inflict harm saw the inherent worth of those on the other side. But, unfortunately, in our imperfect world, and in societies that do not cultivate a deliberate sense of inherent worth of all, cruelties can be perpetrated, even in the name of fairness or “my rights.” The philosopher Blaise Pascal said that if he could prescribe one thing for the human race it would silence—so that we could listen to what is truly important. I think if I were asked that question, I would stay with silence and try to sneak in a second “thing”: the deep understanding that each person, even those who are cruel to us, have immense inherent worth.
Dr. Bob
Returning Exiles Show Capacity for Forgiveness in Myanmar
Los Angeles Times, Yangon, Myanmar – Maung Thura, a comedian known as Zarganar, spent 11 years in prison including five in solitary confinement for his open criticism of the repression he witnessed in Myanmar while the country was under military rule. Released in 2011 after the military junta was dissolved, Zarganar now expresses forgiveness rather than rancor for his former captors.
“This is not a time for revenge,” he said. “Otherwise, it becomes a circular motion that never ends.”
According to a variety of sources, Zarganar’s willingness to forgive–seemingly incomprehensible to many outsiders–is shared by thousands of dissidents and student leaders released from prisons or invited back to Myanmar, also known as Burma, after years in exile.
This flexibility on both sides offers hope the country can move more quickly toward national reconciliation, avoiding a settling of scores and crippling divisions seen in other countries struggling to emerge from decades of totalitarian rule.
Read more about the role of forgiveness in Myanmar in the Los Angeles Times article “In Myanmar, returning exiles show capacity for forgiveness.”
Helpful Forgiveness Hint
As you consider forgiving another, it is important to first review what it is you are and are not doing. You will not be waiting for an apology from the other. Your forgiveness is not dependent on anyone else’s attitudes or pronouncements. You are free to forgive when you are ready. You may or may not be reconciling with the person. That depends on how the other is now responding to you. You will not be putting justice aside, but instead allowing yourself to have the mercy of forgiveness and the fairness of justice.
You will be offering goodness toward someone who has hurt you, but forgiveness will not make you a weak person through your effort. Mercy comes from a position of strength, not weakness.
Dr. Bob
In Thanksgiving for…….
On Thursday, November 22, 2012, people in the United States celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving. It is a time of fellowship and cultivating thankful hearts for loved ones. In the United States, the holiday goes back to 17th century celebrations in which settlers from England gave thanks to God for a bountiful harvest.
I am aware that many who visit our website reside in other areas of the world in which Thanksgiving is not celebrated…..but let us not be hindered by such a little detail.
On Thursday, regardless of your country of residence, may I suggest that we all cultivate a thankful heart toward at least one person who has wronged us, toward whom we may have some resentment and bitterness? I am not asking you to be thankful for the wrong-doing. Instead, I am asking you to see the person from a wide-angle lens. See him or her as a person, someone who is more than what was done to you. Try to see something good in the person, a kind act, or a loving word, or some small attempt at compassion toward another. See that goodness and be thankful that the person engaged in it. See the person as a person, capable of good will, as someone who can act unjustly and can show goodness even if the bad and the good are not evenly matched.
Be thankful for the goodness that you see or remember and in being thankful for the act, be thankful for the person.
I am thankful to each of you who will do this. You are making the world a better place by this little act of love.
Dr. Bob
