Ask Dr. Forgiveness

You used the term “full humanity” in answering my earlier question. What do you mean by that term?

So often, when people are unjustly treated by another person, they tend to focus only on those unjust actions, viewing the other only in terms of those behaviors.  Upon entering the forgiveness process, the people tend to expand their story of the other, seeing this person now more broadly, seeing that there is much more to this other person than only those unjust actions against them.

May I follow up again? What do you mean when you say that I as a forgiver begin to view the other “more broadly”?

I mean this: There is more to the person who offended you than those unjust actions.  Take your own case.  Have you ever behaved unjustly toward others?  If so, would you want those behaviors to be the final word on who you are as a person? After all, don’t you have the capacity to help others, to love others even when it is difficult for you to offer this kind of love to others?  This is the broader perspective.  We all have at least the potentiality to be people who help and who love others.

So then, what do you see as the bottom line or essence of humanity?

Aristotle said that the essence of humanity, that which separates us from the other primates, is our ability to think rationally.  While this is true, I think the great Aristotle did not go far enough.  I think our essence is to consciously and deliberately, through our free will, love others even when it is painful to do so, and to love in this way for the other’s benefit.  The Greek word agape describes this kind of love.