Forgiveness News
Forgiveness Becomes Her Passion: “Replace Hate with Love”
Carly Elms is a determined woman, a well-educated and experienced therapist, and a disciple of “forgiveness therapy” as developed and proven by Dr. Robert Enright, the founder of the International Forgiveness Institute (IFI) and a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
“Forgiveness is the only way to move through the anger and pain of even the most horrible wrongs,” according to Elms, “and to not let hate consume the rest of a life.”
Carly R. Elms, M.Ed., LMSW, CRC
Elms holds two master’s degrees. Along with her Masters in Clinical Social Work (MSW), she has a Masters of Education in Educational & Counseling Psychology (M.Ed.). She is a certified rehabilitation counselor (CRC), with experience as a trauma therapist, counselor for the blind, transition counselor for youth with disabilities, a service-disabled veteran of the U.S. Air Force, and a fanatic about forgiveness therapy.
Last fall, Elms opened the Franciscan Forgiveness Center on the grounds of the Sisters of St. Francis of the Holy Eucharist in Independence, MO, to help victims recover their lives from even the worst thing that could possibly happen to them.
“It’s a place of healing,” Elms said of the peaceful grounds where she has her office and where she also teaches the Sisters about forgiveness. “And that’s what forgiveness is. It is healing.”
Elms said she became a disciple of Dr. Enright’s forgiveness model after reading his popular self-help book Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope. Inspired by what she read, Elms then enrolled in the IFI’s online Continuing Education Course: Helping Clients Forgive. She completed the course with the highest score ever recorded at the IFI.
Elms’ philosophy is simple (though easier said than done): Replace hate with love.
“You have a right to be angry if someone does something wrong to you,” Elms said. “But there really can’t be anything good that comes out of that. All that anger is the desire for revenge.”
“Revenge won’t heal a broken heart. The ability to forgive and to love will.”
Read more about Carly Elms:
» Replace hate with love: forgive and heal, an article in The Catholic Key Online.
» Carly Elms, M.Ed., LMSW, CRC; Franciscan Forgiveness Center, a review on CatholicTherapists.com.
Israeli President says “A society without forgiveness is not a humane society.”
The Jerusalem Post, Jerusalem, Israel – The Ofek detention center at Sharon Prison is Israel’s only detention facility for offenders under the age of 18. Now, thanks to the incorporation of forgiveness and repentence, the center is touting its successful rehabilitation strategy.
At a recent “celebratory seminar” held at the home of Israeli President Reuven Rivlin, three boys from bad neighborhoods and poor families spoke of how someone suddenly taking interest in them, and noticing them and their needs, had made each of them rethink his options for the future.
They said they regard Ofek as more of a school than a detention center, and they are grateful to their teachers and social workers for their patience and faith in them, and for instilling them with hope and motivation. For those imprisoned with minimal schooling, Ofek staff helps them complete high school.
President Rivlin observed that while the concept of forgiveness is wonderful, it is not easy to ask for forgiveness, nor is it always easy to forgive. “And yet, a society without forgiveness is not a humane society,” he said. “It is a society in which we are doomed to be forever chained to the past, without the possibility of looking to the future.”
Youth justice policy in Israel is a problem-solving, individual-treatment, adopting welfare model. While in many Western countries juvenile justice has moved from a welfare approach to a punitive model, policies in Israel have modified and changed while retaining the traditional view that juvenile delinquents are to be treated and rehabilitated rather than punished.
Forgiveness Crucial to Middle East Peace
Catholic News Agency (CNA/EWTN News) New York City, N.Y. – Christianity is at a crossroads in the Middle East, and only a dedicated campaign of aid and activism can help Christians survive as a merciful, forgiving influence in the region, according to the head of the Knights of Columbus.
“Either Christianity will survive and offer a witness of forgiveness, charity and mercy, or it will disappear, impoverishing the region religiously, ethnically and culturally,” Carl Anderson, Supreme Knight and CEO of the Knights of Columbus, said Oct. 12.
Anderson’s remarks came at the awards banquet for the Path to Peace Award. The Knights of Columbus received the award in recognition of its work in the Middle East and its humanitarian work throughout the world. The Knights’ support campaign began in 2014, raising millions of dollars for Christians and other minorities suffering from war or persecution in the Middle East, especially Iraq and Syria.
Anderson said Christians have lived “heroically” in the Middle East for 2,000 years. “This is the history of Christians indigenous to the Middle East. They forgive, and by doing so they open the path to peace,” the Supreme Knight continued. “Today, they have given up everything but their faith, for their faith. But even having lost so much, they have given a great gift, to their fellow citizens and to the world. The gift they have given is the example of forgiveness and mercy – the fundamental building blocks of peace.”
Previous recipients of the Path to Peace Award include U.N. Secretary General Boutros Boutros-Ghali, former President Corazon C. Aquino of the Philippines, and former President Lech Walesa of Poland. The Knights of Columbus, a Catholic fraternity, has about 1.9 million members worldwide. The Knights’ relief fund for Middle East Christians and other minorities is accepting donations through its webpage at www.kofc.org/Iraq
Jerusalem Conference on Forgiveness for Peace
The Jerusalem Conference on Forgiveness for Peace, scheduled for July 12-13, 2017, is the first ever forgiveness conference to be held in the Middle East. It is being organized by Dr. Robert Enright, whom Time magazine called “the forgiveness trailblazer,” and an international team of religious and secular leaders.
Day 1 of this 2-day conference will include speakers from Judaism, Christianity, and Islam discussing what it means to forgive in each of those religious traditions, the importance of forgiveness, and how to better interact with others through forgiveness. Internationally-known speakers include Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, this year’s recipient of the Templeton Prize, and Dr. Mustafa Ceric, Grand Mufti Emeritus of Bosnia.
Day 2 will help us learn how to better understand what forgiveness education is and how to bring forgiveness to our children and adolescents in school and at home. Speakers include educators from Northern Ireland, Greece, Israel, Lebanon and the United States.
The conference is open to all who wish to obtain a deeper understanding of forgiveness across the three Abrahamic faiths and who have an interest in bringing forgiveness to the home, school, and other community organizations.
Early Bird Registration is now available at $150.00 but ends October 31, 2016. For more information or to register, click the link below.
Prison Inmate Tames Anger Through Forgiveness
Editor’s Note: This unsolicited article was written by an inmate in the Columbia Correctional Institution at Portage, Wisconsin, and first appeared in the Institution’s September inmate newsletter. It is reprinted verbatim.
September 2016 – This is my fourth incarceration and will be my last because of the life sentence I am now serving. During this time I have been in many groups, programs, counseling sessions, ad nauseum and was never able to understand why I kept hurting people.
At Columbia Correctional Institution I was assigned a psychologist who suggested I participate in a group based on the book Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope by Dr. Robert Enright of UW-Madison’s Psychology Department. I made the best decision of my life when I accepted the challenge.
This was the only program that ever asked me, “What happened to you to make you the way you are?” Everyone in the group had stories to tell about how they had been used, abused, and/or misused by those they trusted and/or looked up to. We began the process as a group of individuals mostly afraid to tell our stories or let others in. As we plodded through the first weeks some wanted to give up, some felt their stories too bad, and some just didn’t trust enough to share.
As we progressed and our stories came out, we were exposed to people we never truly knew – in my case, people I most likely would never have associated with. We became close like a family and knew the group was a safe place to deal with the anger and resentment that had plagued some of us over fifty years.
“This is the best program I have ever been associated with. . .”
We could talk about those who wronged us and altered our lives, and we could begin to forgive them and release our anger.
This is the best program I have ever been associated with and would recommend the book or program to anyone. If it’s not available in your institution, talk to you psychologists or chaplains about calling CCI for more information. You can also contact Dr. Enright at the following address: Dr. Robert Enright, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Dept. of Psychology, 1025 W. Johnson St., Madison, WI 3706.
