Forgiveness News
Leaving a Legacy of Goodness
The Missoulian, Missoula, MT – On the 20th anniversary of her family’s deadly standoff with federal law enforcement officers at Ruby Ridge, Idaho, Sara Weaver is an advocate of forgiveness.
“Three years ago I Googled my name,” Weaver said, “and I thought “That’s not the legacy I want to leave for my son.'”
Weaver says she has made a distinction between forgiving someone and condoning what that person did. Forgiving simply meant she gave up holding onto the negative feelings and emotions of the incidents.
“It’s not like saying, ‘It’s sunny today, there’s a rainbow. I feel like forgiving someone today,'” she said. “It’s that in my heart and life, I’ve never got freedom from hanging onto toxic grudges.”
Sara Weaver was 16 when her father, Randy Weaver, got in a shootout with federal marshals at his cabin in northern Idaho. Deputy U.S. Marshal William Degan and Weaver’s 14-year-old son Sammy Weaver were both killed on the first day after officers tried to serve a warrant for weapons charges.
Sara Weaver’s mother, Vicki Weaver, was shot dead by an FBI sniper the next day, and her father and another man were wounded. The standoff lasted 11 days.
2002 Indonesian Bomb Blast: Mastermind Asks Forgiveness
AFP news – A horrendous bomb blast in a nightclub in Bali, Indonesia in 2002 killed over 200 people. The supposed mastermind behind the bomb attack, who could face the death penalty, asked, during his trial, forgiveness of victims’ families and of the Indonesian government. He said he played a small part in the plan and execution of the bomb. The forgiveness request calls into question the political use of forgiveness for gain. Full report here
Step-Mother Teaches 5-Year-Old to Forgive Murderer
MSNBC.com – Melissa Oxley was asleep next to her husband when he was shot and killed. Melissa was the first suspect in the killing, but was subsequently released. The boyfriend of Mr. Oxley’s ex-wife has been convicted of the crime and is currently serving a prison term.
Mr. Oxley’s daughter, Alyssa, now being raised by Melissa, spoke with the murderer following his conviction. She told him that she forgives him for killing her father. This theme of forgiveness was initiated by Melissa in 2008, as she began teaching Alyssa, then 5-years-old, the importance of forgiveness so they do not have deep anger as a part of their lives.
Melissa calls Alyssa, age 5 at the time of the murder, a “strong little girl.” After the ex-wife’s boyfriend was convicted of the crime, Alyssa asked to speak to him. “I told him that I decided to forgive him and that I wanted him to have hope,” Alyssa said.
Melissa said that from the first, she told Alyssa that they would approach her father’s murderer with compassion, no matter who it turned out to be. “I always told her, pretty much from day one, whenever we found out who did this we’d have to be able to forgive them at some point in order to go on.”
The widowed stepmother emphasized the importance of forgiveness as a way forward in her grief, and said she wants Alyssa to be able to grow up without anger being a part of their lives.
Siblings Disagree about Forgiveness of Father
National Post (Canada). Lina Dhingra, the daughter of a man who stabbed his wife to death while he was in a psychotic state, has forgiven him. As she visited him in prison and looked at him through the bullet proof glass, she could see his mental illness. “I said to him, ‘I love you, Poppa. I forgive you.’ There was no question,” she recalled. His son is still estranged from the father. Full story here.
Mother Loses 7-Year-Old Daughter and Unborn Child and Forgives
MSNBC (Pittsburgh, PA). At the sentencing of a 24-year-old man, convicted of driving while intoxicated, Nicole Cleland, who lost her 7-year-old daughter and unborn child in the head-on crash, expressed forgiveness for him. ” . . .To heal and be the best mother and wife I could be, I had to forgive you.” Full story here.
