Our Forgiveness Blog
Helpful Forgiveness Hint
Forgiveness is not just an act of the will. It takes time and the cultivation of gentleness. It cannot be rushed and so please be sure to cultivate that gentleness toward yourself as you start on a forgiveness journey.
Robert
On the Vital Importance of Forgiveness Education
From the pen of Patrick Wells, producer, director, video journalist:
“Formal Forgiveness Education, invented by Robert Enright, is the best idea the Human Race has had since Jesus preached Forgiveness.”
Many people on the planet continue to exist within a tribe, sect, gang, race or mentality, unable to overcome hatred or prejudice against another group. This frequently manifests itself as violence. Learning how to forgive may be the best and fastest way to end systemic negativity against “other peoples.”
The best opportunity we have is to treat forgiveness as a skill and teach it at an early age in our elementary schools. If we can convince our children of the power and importance of forgiveness, when they become adults they will certainly be able to make effective use of this vital skill.
“Forgiveness has the potential to transform our communities that have not known peace for decades and reshape our world.”
First published in WashingtonPost.com, 2010. Read the full article: “Embracing Forgiveness Education to Reshape our World.”
On Being Gentle with Yourself when Hurt by Others
Guarding against your own false accusations against yourself is very important. At the same time, please add the practice of being gentle with yourself. By this I mean, try to foster a sense of quiet within, an acceptance of yourself within. Try to respond inwardly to yourself as you would toward someone whom you love deeply. In other words, allow yourself to be imperfect and when you are, please guard against a harsh inner voice that condemns. You have been wounded and so you need that sense of self-acceptance in all aspects of your life right now.
The next time you make an error, be aware of how you are talking to yourself internally. Check to see if you are using the inner-whip against yourself and then stop this immediately. Instead, please turn to this: I am wounded inside. I do not need another wound, especially one that is inflicted from within. It is time to be gentle with myself.
Robert
Forgiveness as Preventing Further Chaos After the Original Injustice
An admired colleague of mine lost her child to kidnapping and murder when the child was just entering her teenage years. This event was so shocking, so vicious that it started to enter into the mother’s heart. She said that she would have gladly killed the man if she could and would have done so while she smiled. Yet, in time she realized that her entire being was being transformed by the effects of the resentment living within her….and she did not like at all who she was becoming.
The killer was about to take a second victim, the mother, as she emotionally degenerated because of the stress and monstrous nature of the act. She chose to forgive instead and her life took on great meaning. She became a conduit of good for her other children. She began to show them a new way, one based on goodness instead of the absence of goodness. The children were able to see this new way and to take that goodness into their own hearts. A life of meaning and purpose in service to others grew in the heart of the family.
The killer did not claim them as other victims and there was triumph. The mother came to realize that profound injustice can kill without even touching another–but it did not happen here. There is something so powerful about realizing that forgiveness helps us stand against the chaos of cruelty and triumph over it even when the grave injustice has had its way for a while. It no longer continues to have its way because the absence of good (the chaotic injustice) is met by goodness itself and goodness is the one that seems to win in the long run.
Robert
On a Steadfast Heart
Stand when you are treated unfairly, knowing that the other has created disorder.
Stand so that you do not become a part of that disorder.
Forgive so that you put love into a situation that could break you, that could make you disordered.
Love persistently so that you put goodness back into a world that is tempting you toward anger and bitterness.
Wait for love to come to you and keep your heart soft through forgiveness so that you are able to receive that love when it is offered to you.
Robert
