Perseverance
Perseverance and Forgiveness
2002…. That is the year the International Forgiveness Institute began writing forgiveness education curriculum guides for teachers. We started with first grade classrooms in Belfast, Northern Ireland. When we started knocking on principals’ doors to discuss this life-giving project, we were met with skepticism.
“You will not last more than three years,” was what we heard consistently. Three years? Why three in particular?
“Because when people come from foreign lands to help Belfast, those well-meaning people never stay more than three years,” was the retort.
It became apparent that people go to Belfast with high expectations, great enthusiasm, and lots of adrenaline as they embark on their new adventure. Then the reality strikes. By year three the fatigue sets in, the streets of Belfast are all too familiar. It is now work and not adventure. Goodbye, Belfast!
The IFI has had a presence in Belfast for over 10 years now. So far, we have beaten the odds by staying three times longer than expected.
This issue of perseverance and endurance has me thinking. How can one preserve the idea of forgiveness in families, schools, places of worship, and places of employment? That seems easy……for about three years, but what about the next 10 or 20 or even 40 years?
How can forgiveness endure when there are so many diversions in life, so many new and good and novel ways to introduce new curricula to schools or new programs to businesses?
It takes a team and at least one person with an iron-clad will in the short-run. Forgiveness can too easily fade from the scene without this.
How will you preserve forgiveness in your own heart and in your most important relationships? How will you keep it from drifting out to sea, almost unnoticed as it fades? The first step is to realize that this can happen….and then not let it happen.
R.E.
Reflection on the Previous Week
It is the weekend, a time for some renewal and reflection. This was a busy week, with forgiveness workshops touching lives in Verona, Wisconsin; Dublin, Ireland; Belfast, Northern Ireland; the Philippines; Italy, and other places.
I am left with a burning question: Will those who hear the message of The Forgiving Communities forget about it as quickly as they heard about it? We are in a sea of noise and each voice, each tone, each loud crash competes for our attention. How does one rise above it all to accomplish something as quiet and gentle and courageous as forgiveness in this context?
Sometimes the message is bound to fall flat, but when it does not, what are the crucial ingredients that have risen above the competition for one’s time and energy? For one and only one of those ingredients, I think it takes at least two very dedicated people to team together and never, ever give up. The teaming up has to involve the message, heard over and over, that forgiveness matters: in the individual heart, in families, and in communities.
As it says in the Hebrew Proverb (18), a brother helped is like a strong city. The key is to be unwavering together, especially when criticisms come or distractions tempt which in the long-run really do not matter.
I think we have found these two brothers, well, sisters actually, in Lynn and Noreen in Dublin. Each has the heart of a lion. Dublin and all of Ireland is collectively in need of forgiving, given the history of that region and the current economic struggles. Forgiveness is one piece to putting all of the pieces back together for a thriving Ireland.
My personal thanks to Lynn and Noreen. May we walk together for a long, long time in service to our brothers and sisters in need of forgiving and being forgiven.
Walk a Mile in My Shoes
The National Center for Reason and Justice announced recently that they will be appealing the case of Fr. Gordon MacRae, sentenced to prison in 1994 for the crime of sex abuse against Thomas Grover. Mr. Grover’s former step-son has now claimed that his former step-father fabricated the story. Mr. Grover’s former wife labeled him as a “compulsive liar.” A former substance-abuse counselor for him now claims that he made so many allegations against so many supposed perpetrators that the stories were not credible. Mr. Grover has a history of arrest, prior to and after the accusation against Fr. MacRae, including multiple forgeries and burglary. These offenses were not made known to the jury.
It looks like, if Fr. MacRae is exonerated, he will have a large list of people to forgive. Walk a mile in his shoes and then answer the question: Who do I need to forgive? The obvious first choice is the accuser. Then comes anyone who remained silent during the trial (they could have shared impressions of Mr. Grover’s character in 1994). Then there is Fr. MacRae’s lawyer, who apparently did not dig deeply enough into Mr. Grover’s arrest record. The prosecutor played a part in the sentencing, as did the judge and jury. One can only imagine the injustices perpetrated on Fr. MacRae in prison. The list of people to forgive is long and the injustices deep, if he is found innocent. Injustice can lead to further injustice which can lead to anger and more anger. Forgiveness, properly understood and practiced, can cleanse the inner life of its caustic resentments and set the inner house in order. The road for that may be long for this priest, imprisoned for more than 17 years.
