Tagged: “Barriers to Forgiveness”
Special Issue of a Journal on Forgiveness Education
Dr. Suzanne Freedman
The open-access journal Education Sciences has published 11 articles from a wide range of world contexts, all centered on forgiveness education. The introductory article, written by Dr. Suzanne Freedman, is here: https://www.mdpi.com/2227-7102/15/12/1628.
My friend keeps saying, “I have forgiven because I was not hurt by what he did.” Is this forgiveness?
Forgiveness is not the experience of never being hurt by the other’s unjust actions. Yet, a person can forgive even without experiencing deep hurt. Forgiveness for small things entails seeing the other as a worthwhile human being despite the annoyance. Forgiveness is to separate the worth of the other from the offense. You are not excusing the injustice. Instead, you are broadening your view of who the other person is, despite the annoyance.
Can I still feel some pain and even anger after I have forgiven, by wishing the other well, softening my heart, and even giving a gift to the other person?
Yes, we can have residual pain and some anger left over upon forgiving. As I recall one person saying, we know we have forgiven when the memory of the injustice can pass through the heart without damage.
An Unprecedented “Big Data” Study in Australia Shows the Association between Forgiveness and Well-Being in Children and Adolescents
Pexels.com, Photo by Catarina Sousa
A recent study with 79,670 children and adolescents (aged 7 to 18) in Australia examined whether those who report favorably on forgiveness also have sound psychological health. They concluded their Abstract this way: “These big data findings provide firm evidence that, like adult samples, forgiveness and self-forgiveness are factors in promoting psychological wellbeing, at least among Westernized youth and adolescents.” Of course, because this was not a cause-and-effect study, it is not clear that forgiveness and self-forgiveness promote psychological well-being. It could be the reverse: Those who are feeling well find it easier to forgive. Yet, this study is important because it is the first to use such an impressively large sample to examine forgiveness. The reference to this work is this:
Flaherty, E.M., Strelan, P. & Kohler, M. Forgiveness, self-forgiveness, and child and adolescent mental health: Big data findings from an Australian youth cohort. Journal of Youth and Adolescence (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-025-02285-7
Do you think that perpetrating evil can become part of a person’s identity if he practices evil long enough? I am talking about sadistically and deliberately hurting others.
Yes, I think if a person deliberately and consistently decides to hurt others, this can become part of a person’s identity. Let me clarify. This does not necessarily mean that the person sees the self as an “evil person.” Denial can enter the picture, and so the person could end up interpreting the cruelty as “people deserve to be punished, it is good for them.” Yet, even this denial can be part of the person’s identity. Forgiveness can put new meaning and purpose in a person’s life, leading to the free-will decision to put good into the world, including mercy that goes beyond doling out punishment as an end in and of itself.
