Tagged: “Dr. Robert Enright”
As Elderly People Live with Their Family
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Researchers, who did a study in India published in 2025, asked 12 elderly participants about their experiences of living with their families. The conclusion was that practicing forgiveness within the family context was helpful for these elderly participants in avoiding interpersonal conflicts and enhancing relationships within the family context.
The reference to the article is this:
Tiwari, G. K., Singh, A., Choudhary, A., Shukla, A., Macorya, A. K., Pandey, A., & Singh, A. K. (2025). Forgiveness in Later Life: Attributes and Consequences for Older Adults in Indian Families. Marriage & Family Review, 61(7), 710–736. https://doi.org/10.1080/01494929.2025.2484381
Thank you for letting me know of the information on person-to-person forgiveness in Genesis, chapters 37-45. I have a follow-up question for you: Did Joseph await an apology from his half-brothers, or did he proceed with forgiveness without one?
Joseph forgave his half-brothers unconditionally, without their apologizing to him. They did not recognize him because they thought he was a slave in Egypt, not the leader that he was.
From what you can tell, what are the oldest writings on person-to-person forgiveness that have been preserved to the present day?
The oldest preserved forgiveness writings are in the first book of the Hebrew Bible, in Genesis, chapters 37-45, in which Joseph forgives his half-brothers for attempted murder and selling him into slavery in Egypt.
In my local community, I want to introduce children to forgiveness education. Would you recommend that I start first within schools, or should my pitch be to parents within families?
I think your idea is vital because we need to start helping children understand what forgiveness is and is not, so they have a strong defense against unjust treatment as they grow into adulthood. As we know, and unfortunately, in this imperfect world, many people will be confronted by deep injustices against them. Forgiveness is a scientifically supported approach to free the self from excessive anger and other challenging internal responses, such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, when the injustices are severe. I think both school and home are worth your efforts. Talking to parents is crucial because sometimes schools are so overburdened with current requirements that educators do not feel as though they have room for one more addition, in this case, forgiveness. Because families do not have formal, state requirements for what is taught and emphasized in the home, it may be easier to plant forgiveness there first. You would need to strategize on how to introduce parents to forgiveness curricula, including helping them build confidence in teaching the material. I am here as questions arise for you on this very important idea.
Calling Artificial Intelligence…….Calling AI. What Is Forgiveness?
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Yesterday, I asked AI about forgiveness and received this definition: “Forgiveness is the intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger toward someone who has harmed you, regardless of whether they deserve it.”
I then asked another form of rationality about this definition. That other form was my own studying of forgiveness for the past 40 years. Here is my response to the new intelligence that so many see as definitive:
1. Forgiveness is a decision. No, it is not. A decision is only one part of forgiveness. As an analogy, suppose you “make a decision” to work in a soup kitchen. There, you did it. However, suppose that you now spend most of your time on the couch as you eat corn chips and never actually go to the soup kitchen. Does your “decision” to work in the soup kitchen actually fulfill the goal? No, because you now have to act on this decision. This involves: a) thinking, such as planning; b) feeling, such as having sympathy toward those who do not have homes, which serves as an internal motivator to get up off the couch and put the chips away; and c) behavior as you go to the soup kitchen, get your assignment, and fulfill it.
2. Forgiveness is letting go of resentment. No again, it is not. If forgiveness only consists of letting go of resentment, then one might be able to do that by, for example, having disparaging thoughts about the offending person, such as, “This person is such a low-life that he just can’t help himself. I need to stay away from anyone like that!”
3. Forgiveness is letting go of “resentment and anger.” No again. Resentment encompasses anger in bigger doses over long periods of time. If one is going to use the terms “resentment and anger,” it is necessary to distinguish them. Short-term anger can be good as you see that no one should treat you unfairly. Resentment, as longer term anger, can turn on the one harboring it so that fatigue and even anxiety or depression might emerge.
4. The AI sentence shows reductionism. If AI were to expand what forgiveness is, it should include adding ideas such as “forgiveness is a moral virtue, or deliberately being good to those who are not good to you, more positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors toward those who acted unfairly.” This would include working against the opposite of goodness, or struggling against negative thoughts that condemn, negative feelings that could include resentment, and negative behaviors which can include revenge toward those who offended.
AI does not have all the answers. Beware the easy way out when trying to understand what forgiveness is and is not. It is not excusing unjust behavior, automatically reconciling, or abandoning the quest for justice.
