Tagged: “Education”
How would you define forgivable offenses? To be particular, can someone forgive another’s failure or deficiency in character (even if there was no wrongful act committed by the person)? For instance, someone might be indifferent to me without meaning to hurt me, but I might still feel offended while knowing he or she didn’t do anything wrong to me. Thank you.
Deficiency of character will come out as behavior, either as a bad act (an act of commission) or as a failure to act when one should (an act of omission). When a person treats you with indifference, this is an act of omission because you are a person of worth and others should not treat you as if you were invisible. This, of course, does not mean that we have to pour ourselves out for everyone we meet. Your example centers on actual interactions which make you feel ignored. We should not treat others as if they do not count or have no worth (an act of omission). When this occurs, those so ignored can, if they choose, forgive the other.
For additional information, see Forgiveness Defined.
I think that offenses against children are the worst because they are innocent persons who could carry their hurt into adulthood, compromising health and relationships. How can we go about helping children to forgive if they have not yet had serious unfairness against them?
We have teacher guides for forgiveness education in which the teacher gives the forgiveness instruction through stories. As children and adolescents see how story characters resolve conflicts and do the inner transformation of forgiveness, then they have models of how to forgive. It is important that students are not pressured to forgive, but are drawn to it if they wish to try it.
For additional information, see Forgiveness Education Curriculum Guides.
If I forgive my own child for misbehavior I am concerned that this is giving the wrong message. I might be creating a sense of entitlement for that child who now comes to expect forgiveness and so continues to misbehave.
As you forgive, be sure to included justice as well. Yes, forgive when you are feeling resentful, but then ask something of the child so that correction occurs. When you ask for fairness when you are less angry, then what you ask may be even more fair than if you ask when fuming with anger.
For additional information, see Forgiveness Defined.
Is forgiveness so natural that we can go ahead even if we were raised by parents who were indifferent to forgiveness or even talked against it?
I do not see forgiveness as a natural part of our humanity, at least for the majority of us. To forgive requires effort and patience and practice. We are affected by what we learn about it, by observing others’ attitudes toward forgiveness, and by the models we have of people who forgive or who do not forgive. One issue to note is this: If parents insist that children forgive and that the other say, “Sorry,” then the process can become too mechanical without the depth of knowing what forgiveness is or appreciating it on a deep level. Forgiveness education is important if a child will learn well how to forgive.
For additional information: Teaching Kids About Forgiveness.
I notice your interest in forgiveness education. If others such as myself were interested in starting forgiveness education in our own area of the world, what would be some of your key suggestions?
Anyone can help to start forgiveness education in their own community. If you visit our Store section of this website, you will see that we have professionally-produced curriculum guides for teachers from pre-kindergarten (age 4) through grade 12 (using United States language here) (grade 12 includes students at age 17-18). We also have an anti-bullying guide for middle school and high school. These guides can be used effectively by teachers who are motivated to spend up to one hour a week for about 12-17 weeks instructing students. Each teacher guide (up to high school) uses stories (many by Dr. Seuss) that are appropriate for the grade level. If the books that are recommended in each guide are too expensive, we have professionally-produced book summaries of each one. The summaries are about 2-3 pages long and get at the gist of the stories (as far as forgiveness is concerned).
In impoverished and conflict-zones of the world, we give all of the above materials away for free—no charge and no hidden costs. For others, we ask that they purchase the materials so we can continue serving contentious regions of the world.
You also can access teacher evaluations of these programs in the Education section of the website and you will see that teachers are very favorable to these programs.
Consider taking courage in hand and bringing a sample of the teacher guides to a local school (along with the teacher-evaluation information and perhaps the Basic Description of the Guides). Tell the principal or teacher about the objective of forgiveness education: to help children grown in the virtues of love, mercy, and forgiveness, which can reduce student anger and increase academic achievement. Tell the principal or teacher that we provide free materials (if they are in an impoverished or contentious region).
For additional information, see Forgiveness Education: Curriculum.
