Tagged: “emotional forgiveness”

I hurt someone without any intention of doing so. Yet, this person still is fuming at me and this really confuses me. I explained that I certainly did not mean to hurt her. I also apologized, but it seems to make no difference regarding her continued anger. What do I do about this?

First, you might consider forgiving yourself for the behavior even though there was no intention of acting badly. If you think this is appropriate, then I recommend trying self-forgiveness first. Next, do your best to be patient with this person because forgiving is this person’s decision and she obviously needs some time with her anger. If you can respond to her with kindness and respect, she eventually may see that forgiving is a viable and healthy response for the relationship.

Would you please list for me all of your publications that deal with people in correctional institutions? Thank you in advance for this.

As you have requested, here are our five articles on the theme of correctional institutions:

Enright, R.D. Erzar, T., Gambaro, M., Komoski, M.C., O’Boyle, J., Reed, G., Song, J., Teslik, M., Wollner, B., Yao, Z., & Yu, L. (2016). Proposing forgiveness therapy for those in prison: An intervention strategy for reducing anger and promoting psychological health. Journal of Forensic Psychology, 1:116. doi:10.4172/2475-319X.1000116

Yu, L., Gambaro, M. Komoski, M.C., Song, J., Song, M., Teslik, M., Wollner, B., & Enright, R.D. (2018). The silent injustices against men in maximum security prison and the need for
forgiveness therapy: Two case studies. Journal of Forensic Psychology, 3:2, 137. DOI:
10.4172/2475-319X.1000137

Erzar, T. Yu, L., Enright, R.D., & Erzar, K.K. (2018). Childhood victimization, recent injustice, anger, and forgiveness in a sample of imprisoned male offenders. International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology, June, DOI: 10.1177/0306624X18781782

Song, M. J., Yu, L., & Enright, R.D. (2021). Trauma and healing in the under-served populations of homelessness and corrections: Forgiveness therapy as an added component to intervention. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 28, 694-714. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2531

Yu, L., Gambaro, M., Song, J., Teslik, M., Song, M., Komoski, M.C., Wollner, B., & Enright, R.D.
(2021). Forgiveness therapy in a maximum-security correctional institution: A randomized clinical trial. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy.https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2583

I don’t want to lose more time with my father. We are not reconciled and I am an adult. He is adamant in not reconciling with me. He keeps claiming that he is right about what happened in the past and I have been wrong. I admit that I did my part to create this tension, but I am not the only one who acted inappropriately. What can you suggest so that we can reconcile?

First, have you forgiven your father for the past difficulties and have you forgiven him for his insistence now that only you behaved badly? After you forgive, you will need to exercise perseverance. By this I mean that you will need to be open to appropriate times for continuing the dialogue about the past with your father. This will take time and a strong will on your part. Look for even small openings from your father’s heart in which he might be seeing, even a little bit, his part in the past difficulties. As you admit your own part in those past difficulties and gently ask him about his own behavior, this may lead to his finally seeing that the challenges were a two-way street. If he does, then a genuine reconciliation may occur.

I am interested in introducing forgiving into the workplace. Do you have any scientific evidence of the effectiveness of forgiving in the workplace?

Yes, we have a published article and here is the reference to it:

Zhao, C., Enright, R.D., & Klatt, J. (2017). Forgiveness education in the workplace: A new strategy for the management of anger. London Journal of Research in Humanities and Social Sciences, 17, 11-24.

Here is a link to that article:

https://internationalforgiveness.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Forgiveness-Education-in-the-Workplace-London-Journal-2017.pdf

Is there such a thing as too much forgiving? If so, what is that like?

Can you be too fair with people? In other words, is there a situation in which the practice of justice can be too much? I do not think so because all of the moral virtues are good and so the practice of the virtues also is good. What you might have in mind is what we call false-forgiveness. In such a case, people, for example, are continually trying to put on a show of their own high virtue and so they are insincere. Also, if someone distorts forgiving by isolating it so that no justice occurs along with forgiveness, then an unhealthy and hasty reconciliation might occur. So, if the forgiving is genuine and is balanced with justice, then there is no such thing as too much forgiving.