Tagged: “family”
Who has the greater capacity to forgive: college students or their parents?
We cannot make an absolute statement as an answer to your question because some college-aged children may forgive to a greater degree than their parents, especially if the student has a lighter injustice to overcome. Yet, we have done studies showing that, on the average, the middle-aged parents tend to forgive to a greater degree than do their college-attending children. I think this is because of the parents’ greater maturity and perhaps because they have suffered more in their longer life and thus have had more to overcome.
For additional information, see Learning to Forgive Others.
Can you give me one major tip for helping a friend to consider forgiving a family member with whom he used to be very close?
As one tip, I would ask this: Suppose you do not forgive this person. Further suppose that you meet this person 20 years from now. How will you feel then if you continue to harbor resentment? Now consider that you may forgive the person…….and you meet 20 years from now. How will you feel then, having forgiven? The contrast between the answers to these two questions might motivate your friend to consider forgiving sooner rather than later.
For additional information, see 8 Reasons to Forgive.
CORONAVIRUS ANXIETY LEVELS ARE SOARING
As more cities, states, and entire countries go into full lockdown to slow the spread of the coronavirus, psychologists and pandemic experts are warning that we may soon have yet another health crisis on our hands: deteriorating mental health.
“People really need to prepare for self-isolation,” says Dr. Steven Taylor, author of The Psychology of Pandemics and a clinical psychologist at the University of British Columbia. “It’s not enough to stock up on toilet paper. They need to think about what they are going to do to combat boredom.”
Fortunately, the International Forgiveness Institute (IFI) has a solution that will not only provide a diversion from shelter-in-place rules but help you, your children, and all your family members increase your emotional, physical, and mental health despite these stressful times.
LOCKDOWN LESSONS: LEARN TO FORGIVE AT HALF PRICE!
For a limited time only, the IFI is offering its individual and family Curriculum Guides at the never-before-offered price of HALF OFF – a 50% DISCOUNT from the regular price. We’ve reduced the price of all our Curriculum Guides to $15.00 from the regular price of $30.00. That’s the equivalent of purchasing one Guide and getting a second Guide for FREE.
Mix or match, you can select from our 14 grade-level Curriculum Guides (pre-kindergarten through 12th grade), our two Family-Learning Programs, and our End-of-Life Manual. These are the same tested and proven study guides now being used by parents, teachers, and homeschooling families in the US and more than 30 countries around the world.
Incorporating the latest social-emotional learning principles, these guides teach both children and adults about the five moral qualities most important to forgiving another person–inherent worth, moral love, kindness, respect and generosity. Each guide encompasses 8 or more lessons (one-half to one hour per week for each lesson) and includes Dr. Seuss and other children’s book summaries that help reinforce moral principles.
THE PERFECT SHELTER-AT-HOME FAMILY PROJECT
Through repetitious, peer-reviewed testing, IFI researcher Dr. Robert Enright has scientifically demonstrated that learning how to forgive through Forgiveness Education Curriculum Guides can:
- IMPROVE EMOTIONAL HEALTH – by reducing anger, anxiety, depression, and/or PTSD symptoms.
- ENHANCE PHYSICAL WELL-BEING – by lowering blood pressure, reducing stress hormones, and enhancing one’s immune system.
- IMPROVE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS – with family, friends, and community.
- BOOST SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-IMAGE – while increasing hopefulness about the future.
LIMITED TIME OFFER – ORDER NOW
We’ve slashed the price of all the IFI
Forgiveness Education Curriculum Guides by 50% for a limited time only.
Instead of the regular price of $30.00, Forgiveness Guides are now $15.00.
. This offer expires on May 15, 2020. |
Should Forgiveness Education be required in school curricula for kindergarten through grade 12?
Let me start with a question: What is the major purpose of education? Is it to prepare the student well for adult life? If so, how are we now preparing students to confront and overcome the grave injustices against them that can rob them of their happiness and even lead to their displacing their discontentments onto others? I think this overcoming of deep resentment happens only through forgiving. What is more important: learning how to balance a checkbook or overcoming deep resentments that could kill a person? The answer to this question, then, leads to my answer to your question: Yes, if education is to help people prepare for the rigors of adulthood, then it is wise to bring forgiveness education into school curricula.
For additional information, see Kids Are Smarter Than You Think.
I tried to expand my perspective of the one who hurt me. When I did this, I truly saw all sorts of hurts in this person. Do you know what effect this had on me? It made me not like myself because I now ask this: “How could I not have seen all of this before?” I think I am stupid and so now I am not liking myself very much. Help!
Let us take comfort from Aristotle here. This ancient Greek philosopher instructed us that it takes much time and effort to grow in each of the moral virtues such as justice, patience, kindness, and forgiveness. None of us is perfect as we try to exercise any of these virtues. As part of the process of growing in the moral virtue of forgiveness, we are challenged to take this wider perspective on those who have been unjust to us.
I have found that it is quite rare for people to take this wider perspective without some instruction. So, please be gentle with yourself. You still are growing in this moral virtue. You cannot be expected to be perfect in this process. So, as you take this longer perspective on the one who hurt you, please try to be encouraged that you, like most of the rest of us, do not automatically generate such thinking.
Therefore, you definitely are not, in your word, “stupid.” We are all on this journey of discovery and it is all right that we are not perfect at this point. In fact, Aristotle counsels us that we never reach full perfection in any of the moral virtues.
For additional information, see Learning to Forgive Others.
