Tagged: “forgive”
‘I Forgive You’: After Decades Behind Bars for His Wife’s Murder, Leo Schofield Finds Healing in a Call with the Man Who Confessed
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On April 11, 2025, The News Review (https://www.nrtoday.com/he-served-36-years-for-his-wife-s-murder-and-then-forgave-the-man-who/article_473a7a92-17a1-4b83-95e0-e353e4bcb615.html) in Oregon reported on a man, Leo Schofield, who allegedly killed his wife. He was released from a correctional institution after serving 36 years. He maintained his innocence throughout the imprisonment.
Upon being released to regular society, Mr. Schofield took about one year, and then he had a telephone conversation with the man, Jeremy Scott, who proclaimed on several occasions that he was the one who murdered Mr. Schofield’s wife. It was at that time that Mr. Schofield forgave the other man, reporting that forgiveness is a process of “being freed from the effect” of the hurt he carried inside.
Mr. Schofield seems to have gone through the process of what we call the Work Phase of forgiveness, in which he started to think about Mr. Scott in new ways, not to condone what he did, but to better understand him. As reported in The News Review, Mr. Schofield said this, “‘I developed a certain respect and somewhat of an affinity for the guy,’ he said. ‘I wanted to tell him that I genuinely forgive him and, more important, I wanted him to know that there are people that care about him and want to see him do right.’”
Can I forgive my cat who clawed up my favorite pillow?
I would urge you to accept what your cat did, but not forgive your cat. Cats, like other mammals, do not have rational faculties as humans do. Cats do not reason out what is right and wrong the way people do. Therefore, we cannot impute ill intent to cats the way we can with people. Forgiveness, then, is for persons and not for cats, dogs, or non-sentient issues such as tornadoes.
Do you think that, as people forgive and see the one who acted unfairly as a genuine human being with weaknesses, there is a tendency to reinterpret that person’s intentions connected to the actions? In other words, the forgiver then does not see the intention as a desire to do bad things?
I think, as people forgive those who had bad intentions, the forgivers still see the intent as bad. The forgiveness response does not change the perception of the other’s intent. Instead, forgiving changes how the forgiver perceives the offending person as someone of inherent worth, despite the bad intent.
Can you recommend a film for me in which a person forgives and yet others near this person are not happy with the decision?
Yes, there is a documentary film entitled Forgiving Dr. Mengele, in which Eva Mozes Kor forgives the Nazis for her being imprisoned in Auschwitz during World War III. Some of the twins who were imprisoned with her thought that her forgiving was not right. One person, for example, in the film refers to Eva’s forgiving as “improper.”
What are some steps to reconciliation?
I discuss the 3 R’s of remorse, repentance, and recompense. Remorse is inner sorrow for causing injustice. Repentance is the outward language and behavior to demonstrate that sorry, such as a sincere apology. Recompense is making up for the unfairness as best as one can. When a person who has been treated unfairly by another sees the 3 R’s in the one who behaved unjustly, this is good evidence that a willingness to reconcile is occurring.
