Tagged: “forgive”
An Examination of Forgiveness in the Context of Armed Conflict
Image by Noor Aldin Alwan, Pexels.com
The journal article below examined 30 manuscripts comprising 35 individual studies, published between 2000 and 2024, focused on forgiveness during times of armed conflict. The results were not surprising. In the article’s abstract, the authors concluded: “Facilitating factors [for forgiveness] included acknowledgment of harm, apologies, justice measures, religious and cultural beliefs, and guarantees of non-repetition. Conversely, lack of trust, empathy, and the severity of offenses reduced willingness to forgive.”
In other words, forgiveness seemed to follow the reduction or elimination of the conflict as justice (not forgiveness) was beginning to prevail. As the quotation above makes clear, if trust and empathy are not present and there is severity in the offenses, then a willingness to forgive is less likely.
Turizo-Palencia, Y., Avila Paternina, K. A., De La Hoz Maldonado, A., & Núñez Menco, S. S. (2026). Willingness to forgive in contexts of armed conflict: A systematic review. Acta psychologica, 266, 106764. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.actpsy.2026.106764
A critical issue that did not emerge in the article is this: How can forgiveness start before the quelling of the conflict, before the guarantee of non-repetition, before trust is restored? Forgiveness should not be considered only as a consequence of justice received, but instead as a possible catalyst for changing the situation from unjust to more just or even completely just.
Regarding my earlier question, what if the “forgiver” is denying reality and keeps insisting that the other person did wrong when no wrong was done? Here is an example: my partner keeps blaming me for being a little late coming home after work, even if it is, say, 15 minutes. She wants me to help with the kids. Yet when I am late, I am not doing any injustice because my boss insists that I stay a little later at work. She keeps insisting that she needs to forgive me. In this case, is it her call or does she need correction?
You raise a good point. You are not deliberately engaging in moral wrong because you are being obedient to the boss. In such a case, even if your partner wants to forgive and it is her choice, encourage her to explore the issue deeply and subtly. As she takes this challenge seriously, she may eventually realize that you are not deliberately doing wrong and that no forgiveness is necessary in this case.
Can you truly forgive someone who treats you cruelly yet sincerely thinks he or she was in the right, or is it just “moving on”?
Yes, you definitely can forgive someone who stands firm, believing no wrong was committed. This is the case because it is up to the forgiver to determine the wrongdoing by taking a clear and wise look at what happened. If the conclusion is that unfairness occurred, the one who was treated unfairly can forgive.
Forgiveness Guidelines for Therapists
Dr. Suzanne Freedman
A recent essay by Professor Suzanne Freedman of the University of Northern Iowa was published in the Greater Good Magazine of the University of California, Berkeley. The essay is titled “Seven Guidelines for Therapists Helping Clients to Forgive.” It provides helpful information for mental health professionals whose clients want to work on forgiving those who have been unjust to them.
Dr. Forgiveness Answers 2,000th Question!
Dr. Robert Enright
The submenu ‘Ask Dr. Forgiveness’ on this website has surpassed 2,000 questions and answers as of May 2026. This website feature has been operational since 2013. The 2,000th entry is this:
If people deny their deep anger over a long period of time, might they forget that anger? If so, would this then lead to the situation where the forgiveness process is no longer necessary?
If the injustices that led to the anger were serious and hurtful, the anger is not necessarily extinguished when the psychological defense of denial is in place. In other words, the anger can manifest in other ways, including internal compromises such as fatigue or other physical challenges. Also, anger can manifest indirectly toward innocent others as impatience, annoyance over small issues, and other disruptive behaviors. Forgiving is a protection for yourself and others as you move along your life’s path.
