Tagged: “forgiveness is a choice”
Do forgiveness interventions work with participants who are in early adolescence?
Yes. We have published research in which early adolescents in the United States and in Pakistan have benefited from a forgiveness intervention. Here are the references to these works:
Gambaro, M.E., Enright,R.D., Baskin, T.A., & Klatt, J. (2008). Can schAt-Risk-Middle-School—Wool-based forgiveness counseling improve conduct and academic achievement in academically at-risk adolescents? Journal of Research in Education, 18, 16-27.
Rahman, A., Iftikhar, R., Kim, J., & Enright, R.D. (2018). Pilot study: Evaluating the effectiveness of forgiveness therapy with abused early adolescent females in Pakistan. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 5, 75-87.
What is one central issue about forgiving oneself that you could pass along to me?
Forgiving yourself is a process, as is forgiving other people. If I had to choose one issue for you as you begin, it would be this: Start by forgiving others first so that you get to know the process of forgiveness. As you offer gentleness and kindness to others in forgiving them, then when you forgive yourself, apply that same kind of gentleness and kindness to yourself.
Learn more at Self-Forgiveness.
Have you ever examined the effectiveness for group forgiveness therapy? In other words, an intervener convenes a group of people all of whom share a common kind of injustice against them? If so, does forgiveness within a group intervention work?
Yes, we have done research on forgiveness as a group intervention and we do get good statistical results. The very first journal article ever written on a forgiveness intervention was in a group setting with elderly women who had been hurt in family situations (Hebl & Enright, 1993). They became emotionally healthier as a result of this group effort. Here is the reference to that work:
Hebl, J. H., & Enright, R. D. (1993). Forgiveness as a psychotherapeutic goal with elderly females. Psychotherapy, 30, 658-667.
Other group efforts, as examples but not an exhaustive list, have included parentally love-deprived college students, people in residential drug rehabilitation, and men who have cardiac compromise:
Al-Mabuk, R., Enright, R. D., & Cardis, P. (1995). Forgiveness education with parentally love-deprived college students. Journal of Moral Education, 24, 427-444.
Lin, W.F., Mack, D., Enright, R.D., Krahn, D., & Baskin, T. (2004). Effects of forgiveness therapy on anger, mood, and vulnerability to substance use among inpatient substance-dependent clients. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 72(6), 1114-1121.
Waltman, M.A., Russell, D.C., Coyle, C.T., Enright, R.D., Holter, A.C., & Swoboda, C. (2009). The effects of a forgiveness intervention on patients with coronary artery disease. Psychology and Health, 24, 11-27.
We do tend to find that individual interventions (one intervener and one participant) produce stronger statistical results than group interventions on forgiveness.
About three years ago, I forgave my father for abandoning the family when I was just a child, 6-years-old. Now that I am grown and the pressure is off of him to parent me, here he comes and asks my forgiveness. To be honest with you, I think it is too late to hear his point of view. What do you think?
You have forgiven your father for his abandoning your family and you. I think you now have another situation in which you might consider forgiving your father for coming to you now, as you say, after the pressure is off for his parenting you. Forgiveness, as you know, is your choice. Given that you already have forgiven him for his past behavior, you now know the forgiveness pathway for forgiving him for his current issue. Please keep in mind that he may have a lot of remorse and guilt. He may not be asking for your forgiveness only because the pressure now is off. If you see his possible remorse and even anguish, it may help you in your decision to forgive.
For additional information, see 8 Keys to Forgiveness.
What do you think the most common misconception about forgiving is?
I would say the most common misconception is the fear that once people forgive, they think they have to automatically reconcile, ignoring justice or the protection of the self. This needs to be clarified for many people to begin trusting in the process of forgiving.
For additional information, see What Is Forgiveness?
