Tagged: “forgiveness journey”

I want to teach my 8-year-old child about forgiveness. I notice that you talk about the inter-relationship between forgiving and seeking fairness. Should I teach one of these moral virtues first (forgiveness first or justice first), or should I teach them at the same time?

The teaching of forgiveness already has embedded within it the theme of justice, particularly as the child sees story characters being treated unjustly and then forgiving.  So, the child, in being introduced to forgiveness, is also examining justice.  You can and should point this out; being fair with one another is very important; it is when justice breaks down that people get hurt and then need to forgive.  A more complicated issue is this: Should you teach a child to forgive and to seek justice at the same time?  The answer is yes. For example, if a child is being bullied by another child on the playground, the one being treated unjustly needs to protect the self by letting a teacher or the principal know of the injustice.  Forgiving the one who was bullying also is a good idea, but only if the child is ready and is not pressured into it.

Which of the 20 units of your Process Model do you think hinders people the most?

I think a difficult unit is the decision to go ahead and forgive.  Because forgiveness may be new to people, they have a certain and understandable apprehension about starting what is unfamiliar to them.  Also, the idea of giving a gift of some kind to the one who was unjust can sound unfair and unreasonable. Yet, forgiveness, being centered in its deepest essence in mercy and love toward the other, is about such gift-giving.

Thank you for answering my question about getting to know what forgiveness is. I have another question for you: Is it possible for most people to go through the forgiveness process (your 20-unit Process Model) in a genuine way and to the full extent of forgiving?

I again, will refer to Aristotle and his wisdom about becoming perfected in the moral virtues.  According to Aristotle’s observations, all people have the potential for perfection in the moral virtues, but we do not reach that highest level of perfection because we are imperfect beings.  This actually keeps life interesting.  As we strive to get better in forgiveness or justice or love, we always have room for more improvement.  Yes, we do get better with practice, but no matter what our age or experience, we can look forward to more insights, surprises, and growth.

Is it possible for most people to understand what forgiveness actually is? I mean, can the vast majority of people come to an accurate understanding of what forgiveness is, without distortion?

I adhere to the philosophy of Aristotelian realism.  This philosophy assumes that people can use their rational faculties to understand the world.  For example, we can distinguish horses from cats because both are real and so are accessible to our reason.  Although much more abstract than horses or cats, forgiveness is accessible to us as are all of the moral virtues such as justice or patience.  Yet, it takes effort and practice to truly and deeply know, for example, how forgiveness differs from the other virtues (forgiveness is offering goodness specifically to others who have been unjust).  In other words, without the persistent effort to know what forgiveness is, people could confuse it with “just letting the unfairness go” or abandoning justice.  Yet, with the persistent effort, yes, most people should be able to understand what forgiveness is.

2020: A Record-Setting Year for Dr. Robert Enright and the International Forgiveness Institute

While “perseverance” and “grit” may  be apt descriptors for what turned out to be perhaps the most peculiar year in modern history, forgiveness researcher Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, has a different take on 2020: “Without question, it turned out to be our most productive year since I began studying forgiveness three decades ago.”

Scientific Research Studies:

To illustrate his point, the man Time magazine called “the forgiveness trailblazer,” rattled off the 11 scientifically-based manuscripts he and various team members completed and had published or accepted for publication during the year. Covering a wide range of cultural diversity, and encompassing studies in seven countries with both adult and child participants, those studies included (click title to read more):

• Compassionate love and dispositional forgiveness: Does compassionate love predict dispositional forgiveness? (Conducted in the United States) – Published in Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health.
• Measuring intergroup forgiveness: The Enright Group Forgiveness Inventory. (China, Taiwan, Slovenia,  United States) – Peace and Conflict Studies.
• Effectiveness of forgiveness education with adolescents in reducing anger and ethnic prejudice in Iran. (Iran) – Journal of Educational Psychology.
• A philosophical and psychological examination of “justice first”: Toward the need for both justice and forgiveness when conflict arises. – Peace and Conflict: Journal of Peace Psychology [in press].
• An addition to peace education: Toward the process of a Just and Merciful Community in schools. (China and the United States) – Peace and Conflict: Journal of Peace Psychology [in press].
• Evaluation of the effectiveness and satisfaction of the Learning to Forgive Program for the prevention of bullying. (Spain) – Electronic Journal of Educational Psychology [in press].
• Trauma and healing in the under-served populations of homelessness and corrections: Forgiveness therapy as an added component to intervention. – Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy [in press]. 
• Validating the Enright Self-Forgiveness Inventory. (United States) – Current Psychology [in press].
• A randomized controlled trial of a forgiveness intervention program with female acid attack survivors in Pakistan. (Pakistan) –Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy [in press].
•  “A Review of the Empirical Research Using Enright’s Process Model of Interpersonal Forgiveness” (International) – Handbook of forgiveness [2020].
• “Forgiveness Within Psychotherapy” (International) – The Wiley Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences: Models and Theories.

Forgiveness Presentations:

In addition to his first love (scientific research on forgiveness, as evidenced by the list above), Dr. Enright developed and delivered targeted forgiveness presentations in the U.S. and around the world during 2020. His more noteworthy audiences included:

• Staff and imprisoned people at Her Majesty’s Prison – Edinburgh, Scotland.
• Doctors and medical specialists attending an online conference on polyclonal immunoglobulins in patients with multiple myeloma – Bratislava, Slovakia. 
• Pediatricians, oncologists, and cancer treatment specialists attending the Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Educational Conference – Madison, Wisconsin.
• Faculty and research associates at the Pan-European University – Bratislava, Slovakia.
• School administrators and teachers – Belfast, Northern Ireland.
• Students and faculty of Liberty University – Lynchburg, Virginia.
• Rotary Club members – Richmond, California.

Media Interviews, Podcasts, Video Productions:

As a highly-sought-after media personality, Dr. Enright’s 2020 media interviews included:

• A 67-minute podcast hosted and broadcast by Dr. Alexandra Miller, a popular family relations psychologist, on Rehabilitating those who are ‘Forgotten’: People in Prison. The podcast was downloaded by individuals in 225 US cities and 22 foreign countries in just the first three weeks after it was recorded in July.
• A multi-segment forgiveness video produced for Revolution Ventures, Bangalore, India.
• A “therapeutic music-discussion video” with song-writer/performer Sam Ness that was produced for those struggling with anguish caused by COVID-19. The therapeutic video, called “How to Beat the Coronavirus Lockdown Blues,” was distributed worldwide through venues including YouTube.
• A video interview at the International School of the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, Israel.
• Interview for DER SPIEGEL/Spiegel online, a German weekly news magazine that has the largest circulation of any such publication in Europe.
• Interview with author Aaron Hutchins for Maclean’s—a current affairs magazine with 2.4 million readers based in Toronto,  Canada.
• Interview with Süddeutsche Zeitung GmbH, Germany’s largest daily newspaper.
• Podcast interview with Dr. Peter Miller, Sport and the Growing Good: 8 Keys to Forgiveness.
• Live interview, The Drew Mariani Show (national), Relevant Radio.
• Interview with Dr. Max Bonilla, International Director, Expanded Reason webinar, Madrid, Spain.

BLOGS AND MORE:

The activity doesn’t stop there. During 2020, Dr. Enright:

• Authored 12 new forgiveness-related blogs for Psychology Today and 12 more for “Our Forgiveness Blog” on the International Forgiveness Institute website.
• Provided written responses on the IFI website for 208 “Ask Dr. Forgiveness” questions.
• Together with Jacqueline Song, IFI researcher and creator of the IFI’s Driver Safety Campaign, distributed more than 5,000 “Drive for Others’ Lives” bumper stickers requested by website visitors and funded by a grant from the Green Bay Packers Foundation.