Tagged: “Forgiveness Process Steps”

What does science say is the most difficult unit of your Forgiveness Process Model of 20 steps?

We first have to keep in mind that the science basically is looking for generalities or that which is typical.  So often, this quest for the normal or typical overlooks the individually personal characteristics of many people. With that said, we tend to find that many people say the initial decision to forgive, to commit to the forgiveness process, is the most difficult unit of the Forgiveness Process Model.  I think this might be the case because change or transition can be scary.  If you think about it, moving to a new city or starting a new job or starting a new exercise program as you walk through the gym doors for the first time can be a challenge.  Starting on a forgiveness path represents hard work and unknown challenges.  I think this is why many people say that this is the hardest part of the forgiveness process.

For additional information, see  The Four Phases of Forgiveness. 

From Reader’s Digest: 12 Proven Steps to Truly Forgive Anyone for Anything

Juliana LaBianca is a prolific Reader’s Digest writer who conducted an extensive interview with Dr. Robert Enright, founder of the International Forgiveness Institute, for an article in the current online issue: “12 Proven Steps to Truly Forgive Anyone for Anything.” 

Robert Enright, PhD, is a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness,” LaBianca outlines in the prelude to her article.  “Here, he breaks down his four-phase model that has helped countless patients overcome anxiety, depression, and resentment, by allowing them to truly forgive.”

While forgiving will indeed require some effort, you don’t need a mental health professional to lead you down the path of forgiveness, according to the article. It’s something you can achieve on your own, as long as you know which steps to take.

Here are the 12 forgiveness process steps LaBianca explains in her article:

  1. Know that forgiveness is available to everyone
  2. Decide you want to choose forgiveness
  3. Make a list
  4. Uncover your anger
  5. Commit to forgiveness
  6. Consider the other person’s wounds
  7. Consider other person’s humanity
  8. Feel a softening
  9. Bear the pain
  10. Give the person a gift
  11. Begin the discovery phase
  12. Repeat, repeat, repeat

“When we’ve been treated deeply unfairly by others, we should have the tools to deal with that so the effects of that injustice don’t take hold in an unhealthy way,” says Dr. Enright. Following the forgiveness process steps will provide you with those tools.