Tagged: “forgiveness”

Has forgiveness education in schools been studied scientifically and found to be useful?

Yes, there is evidence.  I actually answered this in another question posed to me here on October 29, 2022.  Here is that answer:

Yes, there now are scientifically-based forgiveness programs, many of which focus on stories and story characters who experience conflict and learn to resolve those conflicts.  The research shows that children and adolescents, when given a sufficient amount of time (12 or more weeks) to think about forgiveness, actually forgive to a deeper level than before they had these programs.  Here is a reference to a journal article showing this to be the case: Rapp, H., Wang Xu, J., & Enright, R.D. (2022). A meta-analysis of forgiveness education interventions’ effects on forgiveness and anger in children and adolescents. Child Development.

I am trying to find your journal article in which you worked on forgiveness therapy with men in a correctional institution.  I cannot find that article.  Would you please provide that reference?

Yes, here is that reference:

Yu, L., Gambaro, M., Song, J., Teslik, M., Song, M., Komoski, M.C., Wollner, B., & Enright, R.D. (2021). Forgiveness therapy in a maximum-security correctional institution: A randomized clinical trial. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2583

The person I am forgiving thinks that upon my forgiveness, our relationship can proceed as if the injustices never happened.  How do I get him to realize this is not correct?

He has to see the difference between forgiving and reconciling.   He might see your forgiving as giving in to his unacceptable behavior, which forgiving is not.  This distinction between forgiving and reconciling may help him to see that he has work to do if the relationship will improve.

Is there more than one definition of forgiveness?

There are many people who have different definitions of forgiveness, but in the vast majority of cases, people assert their definitions without defending them or explaining how they arrived at that definition.  We at the International Forgiveness Institute rely on the teaching of the ancient Greek philosopher, Aristotle, because he has, in our view, the most comprehensive ideas of what constitutes any moral virtue.  He gives complete descriptions of the moral virtues, in other words, without reducing the meaning of the virtues.  With that in mind, we define forgiving this way: When treated unfairly by others, a person forgives by willingly working on reducing negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and striving to offer more positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors toward them.  At the same time, the forgiver does not excuse the unjust behavior, automatically reconcile, or abandon the quest for justice.

What is more important, justice or forgiveness?

I do not think you should choose between them.  Plato placed justice at the top of the moral virtue hierarchy in this book, The Republic.  I think agape love (in service to others even when it is painful to do so) is the highest because it includes being just to others and forgiving others.  We need both justice and forgiveness under the umbrella of agape to have the best world and in the case of justice and forgiveness, the best of both worlds of these virtues.