Tagged: “forgiveness”
What would you suggest I do regarding a 6-year-old who is fuming over being bullied at school? How do I introduce forgiveness without imposing it?
We have forgiveness curriculum guides here at the International Forgiveness Institute, and the grade 1 guide might be a strong introduction for the 6-year-old. This first-grade guide slowly introduces the children to the concept of forgiveness, first by focusing on the inherent worth of all people. This slowly transcends to the idea that even those who behave badly have worth as persons. This does not mean that children then should automatically reconcile with those who are being hurtful. As the child learns about inherent worth through stories, you can slowly fold in the idea that the ones who are bullying have more to them than this behavior. At the same time, let the child know that the educators should be alerted to the bullying so that it can be addressed and stopped.
I have to admit that I get confused when I read the journal articles on forgiveness. The confusion primarily centers on the definition of forgiveness. It seems that no two authors can agree on what forgiving actually means. Can you help me sort this out so that I can settle on a comprehensive definition of forgiveness that makes sense?
Yes, I do understand your dilemma as you read journal articles on forgiveness. We now have an entire issue of the Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology (published in February 2025) in which we explore from both a philosophical and psychological perspective the definition of forgiveness. I hope the narrative in the first article of that special issue helps you to discern the accurate definition of forgiving.
Which of your self-help books would you recommend if I want to forgive myself?
In the book, 8 Keys to Forgiveness, one of the eight keys is self-forgiveness. In that chapter, I discuss the controversies surrounding self-forgiveness and offer advice on proceeding with it if the reader is ready to do so.
Forgiveness Therapy for Battered Women in Pakistan
Photo by Talha Riaz, Pexels.com
A recent study led by Sana Nisar of the Government College University, Lahore, Pakistan found that a forgiveness intervention for 15 sessions, done one-on-one with the intervener, was effective. Following the intervention, those in the forgiveness condition, relative to those in the control group, had significant decreases in depression, anxiety, and anger and significant increases in forgiveness and hope relative to those in the control group. The reference to this work is this:
Nisar, S., Yu, L., Ifikhar, R., & Enright, R.D. (2025). Forgiveness therapy to build hope and reduce anxiety and depression in battered women in Pakistan. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy.doi: http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/cpp.70089
What is the difference between your two books, Forgiveness Is a Choice and The Forgiving Life?
Forgiveness Is a Choice works the reader through forgiving one person who acted unjustly against the reader. The Forgiving Life goes more deeply in that it encourages the person to continue practicing forgiveness toward all the people who have offended the reader, from childhood to the present time. The point is to wipe the slate clean regarding any resentments toward anyone who has been cruel to the reader. The Forgiving Life book has as a goal the development of a love of the virtue of forgiveness through making it a part of one’s life.
