Tagged: “injustice”
How to Help People in Ukraine Right Now
When Russian President Vladimir Putin met with French President Emmanuel Macron at the Kremlin earlier this month, Mr. Putin recited a crude Russian joke about Sleeping Beauty. Comparing the fairy tale princess to Ukraine, he said, “Whether you like it or not my beauty, you will need to put up with all I do to you.”
When he later was told about the malicious remark, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky responded to Mr. Putin by saying, “Ukraine is indeed a beauty but she’s not yours.” (Source: Time Magazine)
As the Russian invasion of Ukraine continues, people around the world are seeking ways to help those in Ukraine being impacted by the destruction and those fleeing the country to try to stay alive. An article in yesterday’s online Time Magazine provides some real possibilities.
The article is titled “Here’s What You Can Do to Help People in Ukraine Right Now.” It outlines simple steps anyone can take to help, provides links to several international aid organizations, and lists half a dozen Ukrainian and US nonprofits that are providing humanitarian aid to Ukraine.
Read more:
Forgiveness as a Missing Piece to Peace Between Ukraine and Russia, (Dr. Enright’s latest blog in Psychology Today)
Another list of Ukraine aid organizations (PBS radio station KQED, California)
Photographs of Ukraine Under Attack (Time Magazine)
The Ukraine Invasion – Explained (NPR)
Mapping and Tracking Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine (USA Today)
I sometimes find it hard to accept forgiveness from others when I have done wrong. It makes me feel uncomfortable, even embarrassed. Can you give me some insights into my resistance to others’ forgiving me?
This may be an issue of pride for you. I say this because you say that you feel embarrassed. In other words, the other’s forgiving you brings to the surface again your unjust actions. This is not uncommon and so please be gentle with yourself. It takes the moral virtue of humility to acknowledge wrongdoing and to accept the other person’s mercy. The fact that you even asked this question shows that you are open to the practice of this humility.
How do we know when the anger inside is unhealthy?
Here are some questions you can ask yourself, the answers to which will help you see whether or not the anger is unhealthy or not:
1). How much anger do you have inside on a 1 to 10 scale, ranging from 1 (no anger) to 10 (an extreme amount of anger)? A score in the 7 to 10 range is worth noting.
2). How often do you have this anger? If you have it for much of the day for most days and this has lasted for weeks or months, then this is worth noting.
3). Do you have difficulty concentrating on tasks which you need to complete on any given day? If so, how often is this happening? Again, if this occurs on most days, this is worth noting.
4). Does your anger interfere with your sleep?
5). Does the anger interfere with your energy level in that you are tired more often than you should be?
6). Is the anger interfering with your happiness in life?
If your answer is yes to questions 4 through 6, and if your anger is abiding in you, as seen in questions 1 through 3, then you should consider the probability that your anger is in need of correction. If you have been treated unjustly by other people, then forgiveness may be a good way of regulating this unhealthy anger.
As I forgive, I am finding that my anger comes and goes. I find this frustrating as I expected a straight line from anger to no anger. Can you provide some perspective for me?
The philosopher from ancient Greece, Aristotle, reminds us that we are all imperfect when it comes to the expression of any of the moral virtues. Therefore, please try to be gentle with yourself and to humbly accept that you will not have a perfect straight line from anger to no anger. You certainly are not alone in this as the vast majority of us can experience a resurgence of anger. At that point, it is good to go back a few steps in the forgiveness process and begin again to see the inherent worth in the one who hurt you, try to cultivate some empathy, bear the pain of this anger, and when you are ready consider a gift to the other (such as a smile or a kind word about the person to others).
If I “bear the pain,” how will this allow me to cry?
To “bear the pain” does not mean to resist sadness. Instead, to “bear the pain” includes accepting the sadness as it comes without running away from it. To “bear the pain” is not to deny pain and sadness, but instead to courageously experience these. The wonderful paradox then is this: As you stand in the pain, allowing yourself to feel it, and deliberately not pass it to the one who hurt you or to others, it is you who begins to heal. In other words, the pain begins to lift.
