Tagged: “Justice”
The second of 15 criticisms I have seen about forgiving: Forgiving is a ridiculous caving in to others’ demands.
Forgiveness and justice grow up together. As one forgives, one can and should ask for fairness from the one who is behaving unjustly.
The fifth of 15 criticisms I see about forgiveness: Forgiveness is a sign of internal moral weakness because you do not stand up for your rights.
As stated in the second point you asked, as you forgive you should ask for justice. This combination of justice and forgiveness is a sign of strength, not weakness.
The seventh of 15 criticisms I see about forgiveness is this: There is a “dark side” to forgiveness in that you let others take advantage of you.
The answer is similar to your points 2 and 4. You should ask for fairness when you forgive. This is not dark, but instead sheds light onto the problem so that you can solve that problem well.
The eighth of 15 criticisms I see about forgiveness is this: To forgive is to cancel the debt the other owes you and so you never get back what is due.
When you forgive, as stated several times now, you do not cancel justice. Yes, you can cancel any obligation the other person has in helping to heal your wounds, but even here your forgiving, to be more complete, involves kindness and even love (on its highest level) which goes way beyond canceling the other’s obligation to help you to heal.
I am trying my best to forgive a family member who has some sustained anger, not temper tantrums, but a kind of simmering anger that comes out frequently. I now am wondering if it is harder to forgive someone for this than other issues.
I do think it may be more difficult to forgive someone who has what you call sustained “simmering anger.” You may have to forgive on a daily basis if you are in regular contact with a person who is continuously angry. After you have forgiven to a deep enough level so that you can approach, in a civil way, this person, then it may be time to gently ask for justice. Part of justice is to ask this person, if you feel safe with this, to begin working on the anger so that you are not hurt by it.
