When a close friend really hurt me deeply I felt attacked mentally, physically, and emotionally. I always felt out of control. I faced humiliation and suffered anxiety. I developed migraine headaches and spent time in the hospital. Their words made me feel worthless. Am I worthless?
You most certainly are not worthless. Why? It is because all people are special, unique, and irreplaceable. There never was a person on this earth quite like you…..and there never will be again. As with the case of self-esteem or negative feelings toward the self, your thinking sometimes can become too general about who you are relative to the betrayals which you have experienced. You might slowly, and without even noticing it, drift into negative self-statements about who you are as a person. It is time to resurrect the truth: You are a person of worth no matter what, not matter how much pain you have, no matter the condemning statements from others. I urge you to re-read the previous sentence until this new thinking about who you are is solidified and consistent within you. You….have…..great……worth.
Sorry for one or two more questions about self-forgiveness. I am trying to understand it. Why not just encourage people to engage in self-acceptance. Why go so far as using the words “self-forgiveness” to describe what actually is self-acceptance?
Self-acceptance and loving the self again are different. Self-acceptance has a certain ring of tolerance or putting up with the self despite the moral infraction done by the self. Loving the self is to go much more deeply than that. To love the self again is to place oneself on the same level of humanity as all others, to see one’s worth as a person, to be gentle with oneself despite imperfections. This is much more than simply tolerating the self.
For additional information, see Self-Forgiveness.