Tagged: “transcending anger”

I have a friend who is constantly saying that he is “transcending his anger.”  In other words, when he feels angry, he stays in the moment, observes the anger without reacting to it, and then it goes away.  He says that forgiveness is not necessary as a way of dealing with his anger.  What is your opinion of this as an approach to rid oneself of angry feelings?

If the anger is temporary and likely will fade on its own, then patience and being aware of that anger may be antidotes to the current unpleasant feelings, including his response of not behaviorally reacting to the anger.  On the other hand, if the anger is caused by the injustices of others and if that anger has been with him for weeks or months or even years, then this kind of awareness and “staying in the moment” likely is not curing the anger.  In other words, his “transcending his anger” is a short-term adjustment to the anger, but when he is not practicing this “transcendence” the anger may be resurfacing.  It is under such circumstances that forgiving (presuming he was deeply hurt by others’ injustice) may add to the healing of the current anger.  I say this because forgiveness does not just manage the anger in the present moment.  Instead, forgiveness can actually reduce the anger to manageable levels and keep it away.