Some Advice on the 20-Step Process Model of Forgiveness

Please keep in mind that this is not some kind of neat-and-tidy process through which you will be progressing in a steplike fashion. Forgiveness is not that predictable. You may find yourself going back to parts of the process you thought you had conquered long ago. For example, you may be near the end of the process and discover that you still harbor considerable anger toward the person (anger comes near the beginning of the entire forgiveness process). You then may cycle back to the beginning, do some work on your anger , and jump back to the end of the process. Be ready to go backward and forward in the forgiveness process, depending on your particular needs with a particular person whom you are currently forgiving. 

Enright, Robert D. (2012-07-05). The Forgiving Life (APA Lifetools) (Kindle Locations 834-839). American Psychological Association. Kindle Edition. 

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  1. Samantha says:

    It is important for us all to realize that forgiveness is not some kind of easy straight line that we walk and then are finished with the whole process. As we forgive, we learn how to suffer well. Patience in this case is necessary for most of us.

  2. Nadine says:

    I have tried this 20-step process and it has been wonderful. I was able to be unburdened of a stabbing resentment that was very hurtful to me.

  3. Chris says:

    Humans are changeable and flexible. It is good that the forgiveness process allows for people to be so.


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