How can I know when I have turned the corner and have truly begun to forgive?
The late Lewis Smedes, in his 1984 book, Forgive and Forget, gave wise counsel on this point. When you wish the person well, then you have begun to forgive. You may not have love in your heart, you may have some anger left over, and you may not want to reconcile (if the other’s behavior is harmful to you). Wishing the other well shows a softened heart and a growing compassion for the person.
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The book by Lewis Smedes is a great book. For me I was able to put a smile back on the my rapist face, he had a beautiful smile. For my mother, God changed the picture. It wasn’t all about me. I experienced a larger picture and not a self-centred picture. I was able to do what she needed when she needed me.
Don’t fret, you will know when you have forgiven. The impact to your life changes.
Thank you, Dr. Enright, for the work you do and this blog.